Run 1984 (getting close to the 2000th!)
Hares VV, Two Time, Asshole Too Loose
First circle saw Sexy Mountain coming in with new shoes which appeared to be a surprise for her boyfriend Mayo Queen – have you checked your credit card statement recently?
Something Stupid, alias Hash Rags, showed off the new design of shirts which proved very popular – thanks to Burley Chassis for a great series of designs.
Gangreen had charge of the beer hunters in the absence of Sir Really Sadistic Bastard. He even had a ditty to announce the event.
The runners set off in advance of the walkers and the trail soon disappeared into no-trail woods – a speciality of VV’s. Luckily it hadn’t rained recently so the gullies and water ways we crossed were all dry or “hoppable”. A long climb up the hill and a last loop when in sight of the bucket across the lake finished the run.
The GM opened the 2nd circle with Hash Crash volunteers – Chuck the Fuck Up, Beaver Shot, Kilt Lifter, Boring Wanker and Eating Monster.
Hash Trash followed with Shit Lips retrieving his towel that Crap Thai had kindly picked up on the run.
Next up were the hares. The run was given generally good marks although the GM moaned about the hill and having to bend down to get through the more dense bits of woodland – (poor old fart) There were lots of short cutters including the GM but that’s not a problem (until you get lost)
The Waffle brought out the girls – thanks to Tommy who provided a bottle of Thai whisky. Belly Dancer won the salad dressing and there were a few snide predictions about kinky sex later on.
Emperor Airhead took the circle and called in the hares. He thanked VV for stepping up twice in two weeks and castigated those who do not do their share of haring.
VV is off on his hols next week so Dirt Looney will have at least one dry night per week as he takes over the beer truck duties.
4 hashers were brought in for lack of hash shirts. Tadpole was called in but did not appear for ages – the message from the darkness was that she had gone for a wee. Eventually she appeared and was sat down next to Belly Dancer who is the official rep for the Chiang Mai hash which actually started before Pattaya Hash in 1981.
It was announced the Wild Wolf is now halfway to Phuket – somewhere the other side of Hua Hin.
Night Rider has had his arm massaged and can now wank again so things are looking up (as they say)
Asshole Too Loose and his girlfriend were called in. It was unclear if they had been an item for 7 days or 7 months or 7 years. Anyway Blue Sky (or Ciel Bleu to Asshole) was named.
Fingerless, who has been a visiting sex tourist for the past 20 years has never visited Chiang Mai. Belly Dancer set all the transport up for him but he preferred to see VV off and declined the offer.
The Wizard called in Matt and Isa. He is Slovenian and she is German. Her chosen name was Yoga Freak. Matt told us he was in I.T. support answering the phone. (“Turn the machine off and on again”). He finally got christened “Downward Dog”.
Seal Sucker, Shithead and Kilt Lifter got iced/bucketed for not singing.
To recognize all the work that goes into keeping PH3 running both Dirt Looney and Crap Thai were iced. The latter is Hash Cash while Pussy Snatcher is on leave.
Recognition was given to Miss Use Me for 300 runs and to Cocktail and Leg Over for 50 runs.
All the Belgians were called in for gross beer abuse by the customs officials at Antwerp who refused entry and destroyed US$500k worth of Miller beer which had been labelled “the champagne of beers”.
Happy Virgin was reminded to wear her hash shirt while Gangreen sung “Buy a hash shirt, buy a hash shirt…” to the tune of the Flintstones.
Jobless from Colombo was correctly iced for “assuming” that not only was the food free at last week’s On On bar but also that the beer was free.
Twinkle Dick and Smokey Trucky Fucky were called in as leavers. However, STFucky wasn’t leaving for another week so he got sat in the bucket. There was a suggestion he should stay there until next Monday.
The hares’ song was delegated to Gangreen who sang “will you swallow my cum”. Happy Virgin was heard shouting “Yes, yes!” Whether anything happened later on I do not know.
Then it was time for the final down down and the hash anthem and the end of another tough afternoon in the tropics
On On Shit Lips