The only way to spend a Monday here in Pattaya
Is to go hashing with the PH3. A great bunch of people with some weird sense of humour and a low IQ. I always feel at home here.
Always know we are going to get a good run when we visit the Aussie A site. Many trails and many hills.
It's always good to see virgins at the hash and yesterday we had 7 or was it 8 because our German visitor Sandra didn't know if she was or not.
New shoes were christened before the run because we have a nice GM. Years ago when I was a nasty RA I use to christen the shoes AFTER THE RUN. The sweat and the mud sometimes improved the taste of the beer.
The hares told us about the many choices of the runs and walks and I got a bit confused. But when we set off the trail was well marked and easy to follow.
Before we set off on the run GANGGREEN spoke about the beer hunters having to walk 50 meters. STUPID K C asked was there going to be a tuktuk to take them. More about that later.
Somehow, I managed to be walking with a lot of the virgins and ended up being a sweeper trying to keep them together. I was asked what happens if we get lost. I replied I won't, but if you do nobody will come looking for you. That seemed to give a couple of them a bit more energy and they started to pick up the pace. There was one guy who kept stopping to take photos. Obviously, a greenie but he did manage to finish the trail. Will he be back who knows?
It was a perfectly marked trail and well thought out. As I was walking along runners came past me. Then they must have had another loop because they passed me again. I remember when I was an FRB so it now gives me great pleasure to say to them as they pass me try to keep up. A perfect trail well thought out because I arrived back at the bucket about 2 minutes before the front runner ZEAL ZUCKER. I spelt it this way because we had this exact conversation going out on the baht bus.
The front runners even beat the Beer Hunters back but it was great to see GI JOE covered in sweat and BROTHERLY LOVE strolling along beside him smoking. JOE what happened are you slowing down?
Then STUPID K K and ARSE VAN HOLE are seen coming back from the beer hunters on a motor bike. SKKs excuse was because it was uphill.
KNIGHT RIDER was worried because he thought he had lost his keys on trail, but eventually found them in his pants pockets. Think he might have had more than one puff
TURD BURGULAR had to become a beer hunter because of a BEER INFLICTED injury caused by trying to get on a moving baht bus.
HAPPY SURVIVOR walked around giving schnapps to anyone silly enough to drink it. The hares put on a great feed for anyone who was hungry so they really gave us a good day.
Circle is called and the GM calls out lost property. GREAT NIT left the raffle prize that she won the week before. 3 beers how did you manage to lose those? Our GM had lost property, so he had to take a seat while DIRT LOONEY returns his hash towel.
Then we had 9 hash crash people on the ice including FUCK OFF. Still it was an easy trail to trip on. Lots of hash roots out there.
Then we had the 4 hares SHES THE BOSS, HAPPY SURVIOUR, SICICLIAN SISSY and then LIMP DICK the founder of the DICK FAMILY.
Comments around the circle great run great food and it was so well done hares
Raffle time and I make another 100 baht donation while we have lots of winners and some great prizes. It seems that some people get so excited because they have won a prize that they forget and walk into the circle wearing bum bags or carrying a beer so they are asked to take a seat on the ice. It happened to.me once first time I had won a prize in years. We'll down to FLEECE LIFTER for putting in the effort in organising the raffle. Can someone please put my tickets into the box next time?
EMPEROR AIR HEAD'S circle and first up are our hares for further comments on the day so far. We all agreed that they had done a great job. Then he calls all the dicks in I LIKE DICK. DIESEL DICK. and LIMP DICK. I LIKE DICK doesn’t like his name so got renamed to DONT CALL ME DICK. I wouldn’t complain about that name because it could have been a lot worse. Our visitor from Cambodia is christened BLACK PANTHER and I remarked that that's also a great Cambodian beer. It creeps up on you as you drink it then strikes.
Returners are brought into the circle TURD BURGULAR. EVEN MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS IM GAY. and asked to explain how they got thier hash names.
Circle goes back to the GM who calls in SPERM POLLUTER to hand out awards PING PONG and SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE 100 runs YMCA for whatever and BEN 10 for 300 runs. Now BEN is a young guy and his parents are BULL RINGER and BELL END. He is a natural hasher because the story goes he was created on a hash run when mum and dad stopped for a quickie in the bush.
HERRING CHOKER and his mate YARGIN are brought into the circle to tell the story of how HC ended up in a Cambodian prison and how YARGIN saved him and got him back to Norway in time for his daughter's wedding.
FLEECE LIFTER gets to call his 16 year old daughter into the circle to remind her that she can now get a beer for him from the bucket. I hope she did FL
DIRT LOONEY and 2 TIME are called into the circle because DL stepped into our Brewster's VV job while VV is overseas. Thanks DL and of course 2 TIME who always helps VV.
HERRING CHOKER accuses ZEAL ZUCKER for showing off and running backwards for about 20 meters telling him to keep up.
PUSSY SNATCHER is thanked for all his services looking after the Web page. Great job PS
Our GM invites the virgins back into the circle and we have. MIKE from the USA YORKIN from Norway. Mark and Darren from inbreed villages in Wales Shane from the UK and his lady Dan from Thailand. Welcome to the Pattaya H3 guys and don't forget this is your Mother Hash.
ZEAL ZUCKER and GREAT NIT are walkers of the week and so their awards went straight to STUPID K K and ARSE VAN HOLE for thinking they were unseen arriving back from the beer hunters on a motor bike. It just so happened that I was drinking with SKK in a bar later and he found quite a good use for the wooden spoon on a few of the girls backsides.
The hares song is done by DRINKS LIKE A GIRL. So well done Hog town hash.
The GM calls for the final down downs so all the virgins are called up along with DONT CALL ME DICK, SIR FANCY PANTS, TURD BURGLAR, FLEECE LIFTER and LADY SQUEEZE MY TUBE.
These then lead us into our hash hymn Swing low. It's then a tidy up of the site then grab a roadie to finish off the night in THE HUSTLERS for more beer and pizza
Well done to the hares and the PH3 committee for giving us another night of fun and the normal Tuesdays hang over.
On On B. B.