Ahoy!
A shiver me timbers me fella Jack tars !
I doos giveth a log scribe of truthin n tales of adventures of thee Pirate Goodship PH3… I does giveth for ur delite. Arrrrrrr! Me Hartys!
Cap’n Wizard taketh the helm hollerin thee crew o’er scallywags together, on thus sweat stain boilin, oercast day.
O’ wer coconuts grow 'n palm trees ar thee only shade .
Scallywags scum all a standin t'oether, ar ears listenn t’o the tales of woe to cum.
Thee Cap’n Wizard wi’t his own voyce a tremblin o’ knackered dispare from thee previous strenuous jurnee of mountain n’ vallys wer of tropical tree.
Ar noble Cap’n Wizard demand all thee scallywags that fall n crash in their dutee fur thee cause. State whoest them is!
O’er eye’s wit disbeleef five n’ three numbr souls, I say thee again six n two wretched souls before thus own up to dastardly fallins of this fateful day. Thees miserable souls tormented be thee fellow crew mates punishment by thee nakd arse flesh beholden to curse of said thee ice.
‘Tis with thee crew thus shanty down a song we does awe holler n spillin ale in plenty.. arrrrr
The cap'n angry wit' 3 master mates pestilent French 'n Belgian brothers scallywags them all o' the sea. Vietnamese Violator, Something stupid n Parisienne Titi….thees sea dogs a found a lyin to this afore jurney. Arr cap’n Wizard ready to serv heavy punishment to those deserved wretches. For not truthin o’r thee mappin mountainous jurnee.
Ship mate Good for the Goose o’ parleying these wretches ar bastards she sayin truthfully like..arrr!
Ye be needin' a good keel haulin' fer yer indecency. The crew a thunkin Arrrrrr!
Those sea dogs we be given a punishment o' ice n skin. Summit weez all shudder to the oer bones'n lucky they ‘twas not o’gvn the cats tails or made t' scrub ar galleons poop deck. Those pitiful sea dogs we be give praises fer feedin' the starvin' brother n sister seamen wit' fish 'n pasta 'n stolen bounty wine from lands afarr. A shot o' ale twer geevn unto’ those scallywags 'n a comun shanty ‘twas sung eth givin' thar praise. Arrrrrr!
Twas o’er aft this moment in kinde our knackered Noble Cap’n Wizard aspeekin wee sharin our booty in fare ways unto all, by small numbered scrolls he sayeth to thus awe “raffle” he crys.
Wee sees treasures us eyes nott never even seens beefor us..
me ship mates gnarly fingers scrolls a holdin o’er so excited!
Thems luky festerin blaggarts gather tugetha i names them awe
Me Ship mates is Great Nit, Vios, Two time arrrrr! Looney tunes, Bus Stop, Bell end, Brotherly Love awe thems is gasterley rogues one ‘n’ awe.
Theist filthy swabs ar thinkin
“Yell not get me treasure, ye slack-jawed, blasted swabs! ….. Blast ye! Arrrr! Ale we dusteth drinke down ar gullets … a shanty we doeth sung arrrr!
Ar Cap’n Wizard ye spies a boldly ship matey a yakin! Whilst Ar Cap’n Wizard a natterin on imself to thee crew mates arrrrr!
Eating Monster she bite back hard to ar Cap’n , theysayest misunderstand ar me thinkest! Arrrrr! Nearly a spuin me grogg back upp! Arrrr!
Tis then ther affta with fear n’ disbelief that the olde kraken Emperor Airhead imself appear befor thus wretched group of old salty dogs with awe he taketh The helm.
Tis oer shipmates day of birth this very day Something Stupid an tis he of youthful heart now of this day 70 yar beholden young. Tis of olde rags he selleth for small pennies to sick n poor filthy beggars of this strugglin crew.
Tis the kraken Emporer Airhead spins a tale of such awe an old salty sea dog Knight Rider tis sayeth a test so harde for steering a long boat seven times arrrr ! He passeth arrrr ! Ale tis drunken a shanty’s downed…arrrrr me ship mates!
Ship mate Fingerless a salty sea dog if ever me eyes doos See eth one..
liken oer many before thee..nakd arse flesh beholden to curse of said thee ice. Tis sayeth of all this lice infested swabbie sea dog welcome back to this festerin crew . A grogg is quenched by this wretch… a shanty a crew a hollerin! Aaarrrrhhh!
Ship mate AGonnereah theysayest one fiesty salty dog of ye decrepit crew! Tales o strength from this fella whispered he rowweth ‘o for fun 27,340 fathoms before the perilous jurnee of mountain arrrrrr! nakd arse flesh beholden to curse of said thee ice. Ale flowin once moor I says n’ shanty down! Aarrrrrrr!
Truthin tolde of olde sea dog Knight Rider a sailin away levin crew o’er lands far away from wenth e cometh afore! They sayeth shores of California! Ale oer given to ye squiffy gutless sea dog, shanty’s a call …shiver me timbers ! Arrrrrr!
Tis ther given the kraken Emperor Airhead leaveth this crew in awe o’ his mastery powers the helm taken by ar bolden Cap’n Wizard once o’mor. Arrrr!
Tis then thee ships crew all Bilge drunken salty codpieces .. with cheer we shanty a fuck you day of birth ditty, with cake o, flamin to master mate Something Stupid
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum arrrrr!
Cap’n Wizard Parlez to this drunken sore ridden ulcerated mob a cheer to our crew member Mini Mouse… forty nine n’ one a sailins n one more !
A shot o’er ale and a shanty ye aw yellin. Pieces of Eight me hartys!
Them 3 mates pestilent French 'n Belgian brothers scallywags, V. V, Something stupid n Parisienne Titi, a shanty required upon thee souls.
Tis then one brave olde English salty sea dog n’ olde shanty ditty thee belts owt a sweet tune to the Cap’ns crew of ruffians..a cheer for Barnacle Bollox !
Aarrrr !
Tis then a sorry pitiful site beholden for sore eyes… tis ye worst oft aw this ships crew… nakd arse flesh beholden to curse of said thee ice.. Milky Piss, Dragon, Drag Queen, Something Stupid, a torment worsterer than ye bein keel hauled.
Wanker o’er the week.. tis a sikly humiliating gifte from the the Cap’n Wizard himself and his baying crew tis giventh diservedly ther too … Dragon! Arrrrrrr !
Ale tis slopped into mugs n drunkn a shanty screamed like sirens from thee murky depths of thee deepest seas Arrrrr!
Ther too Our Brave Cap’n Wizard decrees the coffers of ale n wine tis closed…arrrr
A small crew o’er miserable sea dogs chosen fur Thees souls of absolute wretchedness tis thee last shanty o’ last down downs, ale a mor is drunken.
Tis then this vessel o’ drunkenness tis set a sail homeward bounde. We wait unto thee not farest future to board thee Goodship PH3 once more.
Arrrrrrrr!
On On Milky Piss 📜