Hash Trash 15th April 2024
Hares: Bubbles, Clam in a can, She’s the Boss, Sausage Head.
The Aussie site
Favourite site, favourable running (except for Fuck Me Mountain), mostly shaded (thank goodness). Well done to the hares under such short notice. Food supplied by Squeeze – many thanks.
Random impressions:
What a dour lot the walkers were this week. All walking in silence in single file with their heads down – looked like a bunch of prisoners. The only two people talking were the Chinese girls Gin Tonic and Pink Head. Now my Mandarin is a bit rusty, but I think they were planning their latest assault on the Gucci shop in Bangkok with the main concern being how much Something Stupid could be fooled into paying.
Lots of flowery Songkran shirts and shorts around. Dirt Looney had a multi-coloured wig on as well (probably to hide his crazy hair cut). He looked like an extra at the circus (Clown Dept)
Bit of nervousness about Bubbles being a hare after he got lost last week with a Harriette (not his gf!) and ended up getting a lift in a Police car back to the start just in time for the end of the 2nd circle.
Continuing rivalry between Herring Choker and Seal Sucker. This week HC was first home by a long way and was very proud of himself. Accusations of not calling after getting the checks right were rebuffed. He claimed he was “over the hill” (along with many of the rest of the hash!) when he found paper, so no one could hear him calling. Hmmm. Of course, there were two splits, so whether he took a long and then a short split we shall never know.
2nd circle
Hash Trash featured Disco Dick and Happy Virgin. The former got the bucket as the Chang vest had been offered the previous week and he had not claimed it then.
Hash Crash – only Dirt Looney - “The last of the Mohicans” as some wag called.
The hares had their time on the ice with Clam in a Can being particularly shy to appear in the circle. Comments on the run included “too much paper”, “too many hills” but were generally positive.
The GM made the point that in this regular hash haunt only hanging paper should be used as trail. Future hares please note.
The Raffle brought an enthusiastic Lost Cause out of the Thai circle like a bargirl spotting a customer. She didn’t win but Arse Van Hole did – apparently he buys 20 tickets – other punters please note.
Emperor Airhead reckoned that finding this site (the Aussie site) was one of Australia’s greatest achievements – no one could think of a similar achievement from the land down under.
Oliver got named Flying Dick Truck Fucker after a long story about a nocturnal exploit involving falling through his roof onto the neighbour’s truck, thus costing him both roof and car repairs. He thus joins both the Smokey Trucky Fucky and the Dick families.
Scar with 2 T’s called in a hasher (Quack Wacker) wearing an Ubon Rachatani hash shirt. Said hasher was iced but when his story got a bit thin under interrogation he was ordered to the bucket, at which point he had a sense of humour failure and left the circle – not the sort of hasher we want on PH3.
Seal Sucker was iced for showering in drinking water, although he swore it was lake water in an empty bottle.
Bikini Bandit was also iced for admitting to finishing the run last week on the back of a motorbike – quelle horreur. Cheeky French bastard.
All the visitors from Corona Hash were invited in. Scar seemed particularly interested in 3 out of the 5 of them – can’t think why!
Sausage Head got iced due to his fishy shoes. One hopes they were artificial and not real fish skin otherwise the smell would have been horrific.
Sperm Polluter announced:
2 new members due to haring – Bubbles and Clam in a Can
2 recognitions – Sausage Head for 5 hared runs and Gin Tonic for 50 runs.
2 shirts – one for Herring Choker (100 runs) and one for Stool Mover (50 runs)
Wanker of the Week had only one candidate – Sir Really Sadistic Bastard, who had missed the bus the previous week by standing on the wrong side of the road!
The hares did a very silly song about a chicken – so polite you could have sung it to your children – and after that it was time for the final down down and the hash anthem and On On to Hustlers.
St George’s Day run next week so we expect all upstanding Englishmen to be on parade in suitable English garb (3 piece suits and a brolly)
On On Shit Lips