Scribe Report for PH3 Run #2056 (22 July 2024)
The Run/Walk: Generally well received, with Herring Choker denied the 'win' for not coming in on paper and thus Seal Sucker stealing the 'win'.
I enjoyed the well set Walk - generally flattish dry trails without too much shiggy - definitely the easiest run I'll be doing this week!
Following the previous 2 days scouting the Monkey with VV and Hot Wheels, today was a welcome reprieve from the more challenging terrain available in Chon Buri province.
Well done to the Virgin Hares: Don't Call Me Dick, Fattus Maximus and Who The Fuck Am I and GM The Wizard for teaching them the dark arts of PH3 haring.
Beware of Wizard's baring gifts!
The GM opens the Circle (18:23)
TW announces finding an old pair of spectacles at the A-site from last year's Oktoberfest Run - nobody claimed them, so move onto ...(stolen from Dirt Looney who went to bed very early last night... unlike myself).
...
Saints and Sinners - 8
Sick Of Steve - Hash Crash (Slipped and stumbled a few times on a flat trail)
YMCA - Hash Crash (Simply slid down a slope and landed on his arse, twice!)
Sir Arse-A-Holic - Hash Crash (Startled himself at the cattle and fell over. Reverse of cow tipping, I guess)
Who The Fuck Am I - Hash Crash (Rumour has it that he fell over during the recce for today's run. 'The lady doth protest too much, methinks. ')
Dogs Bollocks - Raffle Hash Sinner (Brought his beer into the circle)
Spastic Whore King - Hash Sinner (Didn't come last week because it was raining. Toughen up big fella.... only joking, but the rain stopped and it was nice)
Seal Sucker - Hash Sinner (Threw his coveted Hares pen in the trash after completing a Live Hare run a few weeks ago)
Kunta Kinte - Wanker Of The Week (Was involved in a car v m'bike incident on the way to today's run. Told them he would come back later and promptly boarded a bus for the A-site. The disgruntled m'bike guys chased down the bus and brought it back, where the cops were waiting. They significantly lightened his wallet to the extend that he couldn't pay for today's run. Fortunately, the magnanimous signup guys fronted him the money.)
GI Joe in to ice the Hares - and quiz the Virgin Hares as to how good a teacher TW had been. Don't Call Me Dick and Who The Fuck AM I bucketed for being insufficiently complimentary.
GM - Raffle - 82% of prizes won by ladies.
Emperor Airhead
Hare interrogation - GM TW told us it was like training puppies. The co-hares had enjoyed their experience and will hopefully hare again soon.
EA relayed the story about 40k spectacles lost last year that The Pimp had offered a 20k reward if found. Many hunted but EA took a girl to hunt and as he stumbled into a gully - they were found!
Don't Call Me Dick praised for his culinary skills providing food.
Aussies KAM, Sheik MeMe, Piss Poorer and No Knickers in - in days of yore - this used to be the Aussie Day Run, but nowadays all the Aussies can muster is a patent on Velcro gloves for sheep shagging!
Get a Life/Over Achievers in -
GM TW has not missed a run since 2018 - that's 290 consecutive Mondays he could have been fishing or taking Burley Chassis to dinner. An incredible achievement which we all on PH3 appreciate the commitment to the club.
Dirt Looney - slightly behind TW on 135 consecutive runs.
Gangreen - on 91.
Considering that PH3 is encouraging new hares to come forward, that VV on 233 PH3 haring's should have been called in for ultra achievement.
Ex-male porn actor Just Mike from California called in for us to get to know him better - in fairness, he claimed to be a technician, but this is the H3 and no need to let truth spoil a good story. His sexploits with every Asian female nationality had finally led him to the sump of humanity - Pattaya. I'm sure he'll be named soon enough.
Sperm Polluter - awards of personalised PH3 shirts; Asshole Too Loose for 50 runs, Sexy Mountain for 100 runs, Gangreen for 600 runs and Ping Pong for 5 Hared runs with the PH3. Well done all.
GM TW - Swiss-Thai Virgin Jasmin in - barefooted and a tender 13yo. Her Dad, Coo Coo Cock started on PH3 on Run #398.
Wanker of the Week nominees in-
Boring Wanker (last week's holder), Spastic Whore King (aquaphobe), Seal Sucker (ingrate) and clear winner Kunta Kinte - (see above).
Adding on Kunte Kinte - he was on trail live streaming and doing some sort of evangelical motivational spiel ... perhaps he should run with Yanky Crank's musical accompaniment.
GM TW - reminded us all of the no-smoking and discreet drinking policy on Baht buses.
Hares Song - an adaptation of Madonna's hit - Like a Virgin (Hare) - better than 73% of Eurovision entries!
Final Down Down - 16 called in.
Hash Hymn led by Ball Ringer.
Another fun day on PH3 - thanks Hares, past, present and future.
OnOnOn to Hustler's Bar for extended merriment 🍻
OnOn Belly Dancer