Hash Crash:
G.I. Joe (As always), Car Licker, Seal Sucker and Bubbles, were our, Hash Crashers for this run. Bubbles maintained that he didn’t, crash, but turned himself in to prevent getting, ’outed’ as a, Hash Crasher.
Hares:
The traditional icing of the Hares: Panzer Fister, Mai Wing Tong, V.V. and Two Time are this week's Hares. Panzer Fister said that his daughter Mai Wing Tong’s contribution was drink provider.
Hash Trash:
Bubbles, already adorned with an army helmet, to protect his noggin after his, Hash Crash, was awarded a Toilet Seat of Shame award for losing his headband, which Minnie Mouse had given him at the start of the Hash. Many Drinks was similarly awarded a junk infused sun hat, for losing her towel.
Hares:
The intrepid Hashers all provided favourable feedback. Paper was good. The trail was challenging, and all had a good experience. Our GM, Fleece Lifter, called upon: Flying Dick Truck Fucker, Boring Wanker and Twinkle Dick, for feedback. They all said the walk was good. Fleece Lifter called upon Fattus Maximus. Fattus Maximus said, “I didn’t want to come back.” Sick of Steve and Hot Hope said, the walk was easy. Gangreen and Limp Dick were asked about their walks. Both had availed themselves of the Beer Hunting option. Milky Piss said the run was, ”Zig Zaggy..” Shit Head remarked that he,” never came back.”
Raffle:
Black Panther performed her usual stunning service as Raffle Maiden, calling out the winning tickets. In a stunning display of corruption, our favourite raffle ticket sales lady, Leg Over, won first prize. Car Licker was too relaxed in his chair to read his lottery ticket, but after some assistance, from a sighted member of the Hash, Car Licker came forward to claim, second prize. Lost Cause came in third. Bell End came, forth. Dragon, sneaked in for the fifth prize. General Kidney Wiper squeezed in and took the cookies I had my eye on. And, just as every time he has purchased a lottery ticket, Arse Van Hole was our final winner.
Religious Advisors Circle:
Emperor Airhead provided stellar service, as he always does, by first, icing the Hares. As often is his want, Emperor Airhead summoned Necrophilia Night Rider to ride the ice. This time we were all treated to a tale of Necrophilia Night Rider’s early spring/late winter, romance. Necrophilia Night Rider explained how he took this young lady to Chang Mai; supposedly to a playground.
Emperor Airhead called in the Dick Family, to test the strength of the ice: Flying Dick Truck Fucker, Twinkle Dick, Limp Dick and Don’t Call Me Dick. Emperor Airhead explored the idea of renaming Limp Dick to Papa Dick, but no action was taken at that time.
Emperor Airhead cited Fleece Lifter as ‘Hash Hero’, for stepping up and leading the circle. Emperor Airhead took a survey of HASHer nationalities. This time, ‘survey says’, America takes the prize for most attendees.
GM Fleece Lifter’s Circle:
Fleece Lifter called, Fuck Off and ‘Da Da’ (Dawan Wirum) to grace us with their presence. Dawan Wirum announced that she had run the runners trail and planned to come back again.
Fleece Lifter then called the Dragon Clan to the ice: Dragon, Demon Dragon and Little Dragon. Dragon was presented with a cake as run day was her birthday.
Awards:
Twinkle Dick was presented with a 50 run T-shirt.
Wanker of the Week:
The contenders for Wanker of the Week were: Sick of Steve, Something Kinder, Dirt Looney and Lady Squeeze. Despite the number of participants, the outcome was never in doubt. Lady Squeeze My Tube, the ever constant gardener, had planted her new car in a farmers' field on the last run. She was unanimously elected winner.
Challenges:
Shit Head asked to challenge the French, on account of the Olympics. Something Stupid and Something Kinder were summoned to the ice while, Shit Head regaled them with a song, denigrating the, French.
Boring Wanker challenged, Sick of Steve and Don’t Call Me DIck. Boring Wanker accused the two of, violating Hash étiquetté by not calling out, “On On’ when encountering back checks. Fleece Lifter challenged Boring Wanker, Seal Sucker and Bell End for short cutting.
Hares Song:
Gangreen sang the Hares Song for them. It was rousing and entertaining.
On On Mount Me