Monday morning in Pattaya, means a person can look forward to a great afternoon and evening with the PH3.
The new GM, MILKY PISS gets the first circle started and calls out for any virgin hashers, but none step forward.
Same applied when he requested for new shoes.
At least when he called out for the hares they were there. A senior hare GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER along with BUBBLES and virgin hare EATING MONSTER stepped forward to talk about the trail. GKW mentioned that there was old hanging paper out there but after the split the runners would be on shredded paper. Do hashers listen????
I think they may have been confused after GKW mentioned yellow checks??? He should have mentioned the black hanging paper that was at the end of the run due to a bush fire.
Off went the runners at a sprint, and I started off for a nice easy walk.
I hadn't gone more than a couple of hundred meters when I spotted hashers holding hands on trail. Isn't that called foreplay?? They will rename nameless, but I will mention that one of them did manage to get rid of his hash shirt later in the circle.
45 minutes later after walking on nice wide tracks, lots of loose sand, and sitting on my arse to get safely down the MOUNTAIN I got back to the A site.
I then made up a brew of vodka and orange juice for any thirsty hashers. DAGS had won the vodka in the RAFFLEEE the week before, so he decided that the hash could all benefit from his win. YMCA had also supplied Dutch gin as well as vodka as he was celebrating his birthday.
VV supplied baguettes of ham and cheese to soak up the alcohol that would shortly be consumed.
Three front runners lead by DIARRHEA all came racing in, and we're very lucky to get away with no icing for being competitive.
Bucket was opened and drinking could start.
GM MILKY PISS calls the circle to start and firstly calls out the GAY PARADE who were all wearing one of the new shirt designs. Looking smart as well they were, well done Rags. I believe 20 plus shirts were sold.
The GM called out hash trash and FLEECE LIFTER comes out to claim his bride's tee shirt. BUBBLES claimed a pair of sunglasses, but then BORING WANKER comes out and also claims the glasses.
Hash crash was ARSE VAN HOLE who was on the beer hunters. GANGREEN are you making those trails to hard? REALLY SADISTIC BARSTARD gives him a great down down song. It's nice to hear different hash songs.
Hares are then on ice to hear comments about the run and walk. All in all, everyone said it was a great trail, so we'll done EATING MONSTER as I am sure you were heavily involved.
Rafffleeee time, and again for me it was a donation, but it's nice to hear BLACK PANTHER say sex.
I was then given to circle to give the birthday boys a seat on the ice. THE WIZARD our ex GM, along with YMCA, SHE'S THE BOSS and FUZZY LURE all take a seat and I give them a song about being over 60. Soon the words will be changed to over 70.
Our RA SCAR has the circle and SEAL SUCKER is iced but then quickly gets the bucket for talking. I'm hearing SEAL SUCKER is no longer the KING OF BEACH ROAD, but now visits BOIS TOWN. Can you believe that?
At the first circle, virgins were called out but nobody showed up, which meant everyone was a hasher and should be wearing a hash shirt. WRONG. There was one guy who was very quite and I am sure he didn't understand what was going on. When SCAR was introducing him to the ice it was mentioned he was a virgin. I don't think we will see him again because he did look a bit shaken.
FLEECE LIFTER is back in the bucket, the nameless lover on trail managed to give away his Hammersley Wankers shirt, and DISCO DICK was seen proudly wearing it.
♫ Hamersley takes it up the arse do dah do had ♫
VV is iced. On his first day of no responsibility of driving the beer truck, decides to drive to hash. In a new car as well. Was this purchased with all the aluminium cans that VV has crushed down and sold over the past 10 years? If so good on ya mate. You done a brilliant job over those 10 years. We know you will train TAN our new Brewster well.
Our old GM now a new RA is iced because it had something to do with hairy pussies and rats.
It's now THE WIZARD's circle so MILKY PISS is iced just because he was there. SOMETING STUPID is called out but doesn't take a seat because of a hip replacement. SELDOM CUMS a visitor is iced, and it turns out he isn't a sex tourist, but his wife is. She didn't hash because she went for a massage???
YMCA is iced for supplying methanol called Dutch gin. BRING OUT THE GIMP is iced as a visitor. BUBBLES is iced for not knowing what a gimp was, so today he is watching the movie PULP FICTION.
FATTUS MAXIMUS is given the bucket along with SAUSAGE HEAD for reasons unknown to the scribe.
MILKY PISS then calls on the hares to give us a song, and KIDNEY WIPER brings back memories by singing Sukanya to the tune of Diana. Memories of 500 baht days. Your so young and I'm so old. Great song.
FLEECE LIFTER is in the bucket again while SPERM POLLUTER brings hashers out for the final down down.
BALL RINGER then leads us into the hash hymn by calling out hats off and pots on the floor.
Another great day with the PH3, but wait because it's not over. It's down to Hustler's for more amber necta with singing and dancing.
LEG OVER, our raffle mistress shows up to collect her bag that I found left in the circle.
Before I finish, we all know we have 2 talented singers in our group who give us plenty of fun when they sing together. Could there be any truth in the rumour that I heard? Do they practice in the shower???
Singing that is.
Another great day guys. Thanks to everyone involved.
On On B.B.