PH3 Run 2085
Monday, February 10, 2025
Valentine's Day Run Scribe Report
Scribe: Diaper Sniper
Big day today: 118 signups
Seven or so virgins were introduced and a couple of lucky souls got to drink a beer from their new shoes.
Hares led by V.V. explained how they managed to lay the trail with only 20 strips of paper and wished us all good luck. How long was the trail? “Good luck and see you sometime” answered V.V.
Delicious enhanced snacks provided by the Hares:Fresh corn on the cob, homemade chips and salsa, fruits, pasta salad and hard boiled eggs. A meal in itself. Also red wine on tap.
GM started second circle and proclaimed that he is the boss but it is not going to his head. He also apologized for calling the beer truck a baht bus but proceed to call it a baht bus again.
Calling it a circle was a bit of misnomer as it was more of an oval or oblong. But a nice A site all the same with lots of shade.
Monkees in Charge called to ice. Boring Wanker and chums all wearing same shirt.
Hash Trash: Boring wanker called back to answer for losing his phone. Shit lips and Leg over for forgotten backpack which had both of their phones and so detective work had to be done to contact them.
Hash Crash: Hairy Crack complained that the hares had not cleaned all of the leaves from the trail.
Sick Of Steve blamed it on the French..or were they Belgians?
Jackal: 300 m from end. Overheard in circle: “It wouldn’t be a Hash without Jackal falling”
Hares called to the Ice:
V.V., Two Time, Parisian Titi, Chip Chip, Something Stupid, Something Kinder. So many hares that no room on the ice so Something Stupid wearing pink smartly brought his chair and made his own ice seat with cubes from the bucket. All together, these hares have about 370 hared runs…V.V. has 363 just in the past year and the rest brought the total to 370.
Reactions around the circle:
“Pretty good”, Seal sucker called out V.V.’s “vanishing paper”, Night rider rode the beer hunters but was too high to comment. Speedo Pete was wary of vicious dogs. Hairy Crack still going on about leaves. Boring Wanker did the run obviously and said V.V. needs more paper training. “Too long waiting for beer” The Wizard got lost with new friend Gavin but it was Fleece Lifter’s fault. Fattus Maximus said he “fucking loved it but not enough leaves”
GM called the retired GM The Wizard the GM so loud cries from the crowd for him (new GM) to go into the bucket. Sounded like a scene from Gladiator. Wiz did the trail twice led by blind Gavin. GM said that it was a nice trail and of course “without hares there is no hash.”
Raffle: Raffle number called queen Black Panther took over the circle for the longest raffle in history…but wait hold on to your tickets because it won’t be over when it is over.
- Boring Wanker won first pull…many screams of corruption from the crowd as he and BP seem to have some connection. But karma won out as he had to ride ice for bringing beer into circle.
- Bubbles got too excited and had to ride the ice when his number was not called after he was jumping up and down.
- Two Time…more calls of corruption
- Hot Hope took the biscuits.
- Many missing tickets tonight… maybe more of the hares and partners were just embarrassed to claim the prizes.
- Miserable Bastard…aka Really Sadistic Bastard
- Chip Chip
- Bikini Bandit
- Something Kinder…what another hare?
- Any Cock'll Do
- Happy Survivor…she seems to win every week…has anyone investigated?
- Oliver new guy from France” won the special extra raffle bottle
All the sexy ladies were called to the circle and asked to make a circle around the ice. GM was momentarily at a loss as he said that birthday boy Sperm Polluter was in the jungle looking for flowers. Moments later he appeared with a huge bucket of Roses. Partners and miscellaneous men were called to join the women. Roses were said to be “prickless just like the men” and flowers were given to the ladies. GM said “You can feel the warmth but it might just be piss”
RA Scar took over the circle. Told everyone to shut the F up and proclaimed that he is bad one and that the bucket is lonely having been seriously underused tonight so far.
Virgins into the circle: He went around the group some said they had a great time others not so much. He tried to flatter one virgin by saying he looked 55 when he is really 75. Scar was happy to me a fellow Scandy from Denmark and was happy he was not a Swede.
True to his word, Scar sent Mad Cow into bucket (for the first of many times) for talking too much. Barnacle Bollox gave his virgin a Dirt shirt and was sent to the ice and bucket for that. His virgin who likes to talk a lot said the ice was “fuckin cold” Mad Cow enjoyed his time in the bucket so much that he didn’t want to leave.
GI Joe said that he had to jump to hit the barbed wire and he was hypnotized by some part of Black Panther’s anatomy.. don’t tell his wife.
Front runners called on ice: Diarrhea, Slime Ball and Boring Wanker.
Sperm polluter gave out awards: Fattus Maximus 50 runs and Spastic Whore King for 200 runs. His shirts was missing Whore King so just read Spastic. Oops. (Webmaster Edit: I was later told that was what he asked for. He likes that name!)
Wizard took over circle. Promptly told everyone that walking across the circle was verboten. “It is not a train station” Mad Cow had spent 10 min away from the bucket so he went for another ride for shouting out. Sheik Bin Shaggin' on the ice. Stalwarts of hashing. BB on the ice. Said he didn’t know the other two old timers.
Fleece Lifter invited to ice as payback for trash talking The Wizard. Blind Gavin said that he was not lost, just followed the wrong paper. The Wizard said he was on a mission to lose weight.. perhaps let go of that 20 kg fish you are carrying around.
Boring Wanker in the bucket for hiding behind his wife.
Wanker of the Week: Candidate for this esteemed position:
- Shit Lips for forgetting his bag with his and Leg Over’s phone inside.
- Shy Tiger standing in for MIA Herring Choker…who ordered “filtered coffee” at the mismanagement meeting.
- Seal Sucker…just because he is a Gob shite. Went directly to the bucket because could not shut up.
- General Kidney Wiper in the bucket for crossing the circle.. we were warned.
- GM Milky Piss because he sent the meeting email to himself which was discovered by Pussy Snatcher when he resent to group.
- Unanimous verdict: GM is Wanker of the week.
Hares sang a song…actually they enlisted BB to read a poem. He said he was trying to bring a bit of culture to the circle. Good luck with that one.
Mad Cow missed the bucket so in he went again.
The Wizard led the final down down. And another great night with the Pattaya H3 was in the books. Now on to the birthday for Sperm Polluter and the anniversary for him and Caspar at the High Rollers.
On On Diaper Sniper