Total Hashers This Week - 92

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Correcting Run Records Policy

To encourage hashers, and hash virgins, to take responsibility for ensuring they have received proper run credit, the deadline for reporting missed runs will be Thursday evening following a run. As run stats are posted to the website by noon of the Tuesday following the run, hashers will have 2 1/2 days to review the run stats to confirm they've received credit for the run just held.

The reason for the Thursday deadline is we close out the run accounts and run records for a run on Friday mornings. Corrections entered before Friday help ensure we have an accurate accounting of the run.

It is hoped with this policy in place the number of hashers that pay the signup fee and walk away before having their name marked off on the signup list will be reduced. This will also eliminate the cases where a hasher comes to us weeks, months, or even years later asking to correct a missed run in the records.

The one exception to this policy will be those with duplicate run records can approach us when they're close to achieving a run award. At that time we will merge the records so the run award reflects all their runs with the PH3.

Missed runs can be reported via email to the Webmaster.

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History History

Awards This Run

Panzer Fister
10 Hared Runs

Sir Velcro Dick
600 Runs

YMCA
200 Runs

NOTE: Scribe Reports are written for your entertainment and are a work of fiction.
Any resemblance to actual people and events is purely coincidental.

Scribe Report by B.B.

We arrived at a nice shady covered A site with a creek and really friendly MOSSIES. I could see people using their spray even before the run started.
The GM calls everyone into the circle and seeks out new shoes and virgins. SCAR has the new shoes and we had 2 virgins from Australia who live on the Gold Coast. The GM asked them if it is called THE Gold Coast or just Gold Coast. The GM will understand what I'm saying because we have had this conversation before.
The hares MR & MRS PANZER FISTER tell us about the run then holds us walkers back for a couple of minutes. He then tells us to go across the second bridge and turn RIGHT after about 70 meters. Too many hashers don't know their left from their right because at about 50 meters from the bridge they saw paper and turned LEFT. This caused a bit of confusion because ELZIMERS set in and hashers were asking was it left or right? Great start.
We then followed trail to the right through long grass, tapioca, water and rubber trees. More confusion on trail because the front-runners didn't mark the check backs. I'm on trail for a couple of hundred meters without paper, but I could see other hashers across the way, so I kept walking with many others. That happened a couple of times. PAPRIKA SMILEY was in front of me this time and he cuts across the pineapple fields and keeps walking to the left. The 2 Phillipino visitors started to follow him, but I called them back as that was where the split was. Still can't remember his hash name so I'm calling him THONGS because that is what he walks in. He is also a gentleman. His girlfriend was tired by then, so he gave her a piggy back.
It must be LOVE LOVE LOVE.
We finally made it back to the A site only to find the runners and the BEER HUNTERS were already there.
HERRING CHOKER told me he had 9.7 klms and also mentioned that BORING WANKER done Sundays walk so he could be fresh and come in first today. I'm not sure he was though.
I also found out that MULLAWAY & MR WONG have LOWERED the standard of the BEER HUNTERS by going for a run???? Guys it's a beer hunters not a RUNNING BEER HUNTERS. Ice the buggas.
The GM calls the circle and is looking for hash trash. We only have one and it's the Pilipino visitor YANA.
We have 5 hash crash LITTLE SPARROW, NO HOPE, EATING MONSTER, YMCA & HOT HOPE.
The GM then calls in the hares and we get good comments from DEAD GUMP, WHORE IN THE WINDOW, HIPPO, & HELLBOY who actually said the trail was too short. You have to remember that he walked the Monkey on Saturday and spent 5 hours and 28 minutes on trail. Well done hares.
SEXY BUTTERFLY then draws the raffle and the winners were GI JOE, PHIL THE PILL, AIRHEAD, PUSSY GALORE & NO HOPE. One of the winners but I didn't catch her name was iced for wearing a hat in the circle. The losers?? Me again.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD takes the circle and calls out the hares and commends them on the choice of A site a good run and also mentions they were hares 6 weeks ago. So come on hashers if you haven't hared for a long time or never at all put your name forward please. AIRHEAD also passes on a good trail note from NIGHT RIDER who had to depart early because he had a hot date with KIP. I did hear a big dick being mentioned, but never followed up on that comment.
TURD BURGULAR, BELLY DANCER, & DEAD GUMP are iced for being returners.
REALLY SADISTIC BARSTARD & GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER are iced for being the founders of the beer hunters in 2014. 
BARBIE DOLL is called out with her friend so she can be named. I automatically called her KEN but she was named RED ANGEL.
AIRHEAD hands the circle back to the GM who then gives it to the bad RA SCAR.
He calls out the virgins and explains that if they hash anywhere else in the World their mother hash is the PH3. Then he asks the lady will you hash again and she replies YES BUT NOT HERE. Wrong answer take a seat on the ice please. Her hubby / partner is smarter and replies yes. 
YARNA & THONGS are iced because Yarna is not wearing a hash shirt. The hash shorts didn't count. 
The HERRING FAMILY are iced for not singing.
The 3 Phillipino harriets are iced as visitors and are asked for comments about the run. They either come from Subic or Porta Galleria because they missed the hills. 
It's the GMs circle again for the awards. Sir VELCO DICK for 600 runs. YMCA & PING PONG for both achieving 200 runs and PANZER FISTER for 10 hares.
HELLBOY gets the bucket and a story is told about him not wanting to pay the 300 baht bank transfer fees. Then later calling up the GM and saying it's ok I'm in Bangkok not Angeles. That's what a night on the Chang does to your brain.
Next week's hares VELCRO DICK, PAPRIKA SMILEY, VV & ARSE VAN HOLE are given a seat on the ice and hashers are reminded that next weeks run is Octoberfest and its an early start. First bus departs at 13.30 and the last bus departs at 14.30
A DINGO ATE MY BABY is given a seat along with his new bride Flower who now goes by the hash name THE BABY. I will leave that up to your imagination. 
It's time for the hare song which is performed by BELLY DANCER and others.
Followed by the FINAL DOWN DOWN.
Followed by the hash hymn.
Its then grab a beer from the esky. Tidy up the A site and head to SEXY BUTTERFLY's bar for more beer and great food.
Another great nights entertainment with the PH3.
Thanks to everyone for their effort and time. 

On On BB