Today was the annual Happi Coat Run (note to Word, please don’t autocorrect to Happy Coat) with no fewer than 6 hares with 4 of them having Japanese connections – indeed the hares’ song was in Japanese.
Before the first circle the stand-in GM sidled up to me and surreptitiously showed me a hash pen. He looked like a dirty old man offering a sweetie to school girls but what Oz gets up to during the week is none of my business.
The walkers and runners were both back in fairly short order – just 2.7km for the walkers and less than 55 mins for the front runners
Beer hunting seems to be losing its popularity with only 5 members on the baht bus. They were pissed off this week by not returning until at least 20 minutes after the FRB’s thus losing valuable free beer drinking time.
It looked like the afternoon saw some fun among the tapioca – Minnie Mouse came back with the front of her pants all wet. Panzer Fister and Mai Mao (who are usually well to the front of the pack) came back late and smiling together. Herring Choker was also late back because, he said, he was looking after the virgin who, incidentally, had stain marks on her bum. And Spastic Whore King and Slo Flo Jo also strolled in late and with happy looks on their faces. I just report what I see – you can infer what you like.
Leg Over did a great job of selling the raffle tickets and managed to keep her cool even when last minute buyers appeared after the money had been counted and locked in the black bag.
Something Kinder did her usual sterling job (can a French person do a “sterling” job?) scrunching up the tickets into the bucket. Funny how lucky she is at winning a prize.
The hares kindly provided food and drink – Sake to go with a Japanese curry with pickled ginger hand-cooked by Boring Wanker no doubt under the supervision of Black Panther. As there was curry left over Beetroot Head got a large takeaway, so I guess there will be a queue of Filipinos at his place on Tuesday. Ging Gang Goolies was in evidence lurking around the food table as usual for seconds – has he ever heard of worming tablets?
On to the second circle.
Points of note that did not make it to Dirt Looney’s excellent notes:
Whore in the Window had a hash crash and fell into a sewer which reminded me of the old limerick, “There was a young man called Hyde/ who fell down a sewer and died./ He had a brother/ who fell down another/ and now they’re interred side by side.” Read it out loud to get the double entendre.
SLAP was singled out by Emperor Airhead for going to a Club and barfining no fewer than 3 girls. Unfortunately, he was a bit pissed so the girls all abandoned him before he got home. Undaunted, he went to the TQ and barfined a further 3 girls with the same result!
Black Panther drew the raffle and got all the boys excited with ticket 3669.
Eating Monster and Sexy Butterfly were iced to thank them for their birthday party bashes at Buffalo Bar (I told you Eating Monster worked there) and New Plaza Sports Bar respectively. Eating Monster had such a good time she kept the bar open for 3 full days which explained why she was a bit hung over at the run. There was also a complicated story about her white fluffy ladyboy dog which had been shaved and was trying to roger the cat.
Scar iced G String (who brought the virgin) for not wearing a hash shirt. When told the circle expected “skin” on the ice he did a Stupid Kraut Kunt job and dropped his pants entirely. Funny lot these Germanic types.
The GM called in The Punisher and Parisian Titi. Although they came from Denmark and France respectively, they looked like twin brothers. Indeed, I had said “Bonjour” to the wrong one earlier in the proceedings they were so alike.
No Wanker of the Week this week – no returned spoons perhaps or maybe Burley Chassis has borrowed them to use in the kitchen?
And then it was time for the final Down Down and the Hash Hymn and On On to Kubla Bar.
And so ended another shitty day in the tropics.
ON ON! Shit Lips