A quieter turnout this week (85) with many regulars still up in Chiang Mai. Notable returnees included Pussy Snatcher who was playing with his drone, Pole Dancer and Antique.
During the first circle Gangreen announced the beer hunter venue which was a short walk away and apparently provided everything that Airhead wanted – ie beer and ice cream!
Gangreen welcomed Antique because he said that when he stood next to him he felt like a young boy. “You’re in the right town for that” shouted someone from the circle.
The run was notable for the stinky dead cats as well as very pretty views across the countryside. Nice wide open paths made running and walking easy and the distances were well chosen as the runners and walkers both came home at the same time. There was no Herring Choker this week so Seal Sucker had to race Mudcracker (sans dog) and Diarrhoea
There was water near the end which was just avoidable – apparently it had been knee deep when the hares recce'd a couple of weeks ago.
On the way round were three cows and a bull minding their own business – thank goodness as the bull was right next to the path. Twinkle Dick stopped to take photos. (Does that make them Dick Pics? If so, be careful if he offers to show you his holiday snaps).
Back at the bucket various Scotsmen dressed in tartan including Really Sadistic Bastard who had dusted off his tartan trews and a very old Tam O’Shanter. Paprika Smiley also got into the theme with a hat and red hair. Funnily enough General Kidney Wiper who was one of the few (5) real Scots was just in hash gear.
The circle started as a bit of a one-man-show as The Wizard called for Hash Trash – sole claimant himself for a folding chair. Then Hash Crash – The Wizard again and no one else.
The hares were brought in as per usual. They were an odd bunch of hares for St Andrew’s Day - Beetroot Head who is 100% English except for his first name of Andrew, Fattus Maximus also English through and through then Glass Cow whose name derives from his pronunciation of his home town of Glasgow and Kilt Lifter who definitely is Scottish. Still the reviews were good and well deserved.
Following the ever popular Raffle Emperor Airhead (at least I think it was him, after last week I’m not sure) put the hares on the ice again. Apparently, St Andrew is patron saint of numerous countries as well as Scotland which he never visited and he never went hashing either. Airhead recounted the tale of Free Willy who promised to arrive on a white horse to mark the St George’s Day run some years ago. Unfortunately, he didn’t make the circle as the Immigration Authorities arrested him and took him away. Perfect timing apparently.
There was then a naming for Fuck Off’s latest girlfriend. She was named Succubus which I had to Google. A Succubus is: a female demon believed to have sexual intercourse with sleeping men.
So now you know.
Scar with 2 T’s took the circle and after chatting with the virgins including the virgin Dutchman who said he was from The Netherlands not Holland iced him for sitting in the Circle.
There was then a couple of shitty DD’s with Diarrhoea (male) iced and then a female visitor from Denmark also named Diarrhoea called in but she cheated by sitting on her male counterpart. So two lots of diarrhoea on the ice at once – ugh. There were calls from the circle “when one Diarrhoea shits all Diarrhoeas shit” ugh and double ugh.
The Wizard then called in three of our visitors. Hare today, cum tomorrow was iced as a sex tourist – yoga my arse!
My Mouth is Shut (odd name for a Filipina) was apparently in town to compete in the Spartan races (another thing I had to Google). I think she said she came third.
Then the female Diarrhoea got iced – properly this time.
The Wizard next produced his best DD of the day when he called in Dirt Looney and Leg Over. Dirt Looney is well known for his long drinking sessions but Leg Over seems a willing pupil. She went off to play badminton on Saturday morning at 9am and finally returned home at 4.30am on Sunday morning and that was only because the bar closed. For this fine effort she was awarded the Wanker of the Week spoon which she has since been using to beat Shit Lips for blabbing her story (OUCH!).
The hares then sang an anti English song which led the two English hares to be iced for singing such a song and the two Scottish hares to be iced for having to read the words off the phone.
And then it was time for the final DD and the hash anthem and On On to Crackers for more merriment.
On On Shit Lips