Run 2167 – The Veteran’s Run
I am not a robot. But my computer thinks I am.
After several unsuccessful attempts at trying to identify traffic lights, zebra crossings and bicycles, Captcha eventually gave me access to Nirvana, which is the PH3 web site. Where I discovered, today is The Veteran’s Run.
The first Veteran’s Run was in 7th. September 1998. It was designed to give back to hashers who had attended twenty-six runs in the last calendar year. This meant they ran for free on this run.
This year, seventy-one qualified. So not only did we receive a free run, we were gifted a beautiful free towel. Thank you PH3.
Nothing attracts hashers like the word “Free.” So, there was a good turnout, as expected.
Although this is run 2167, we have a virgin A-site. Truly remarkable. This is a big plantation of palm oil trees. The hares got special permission to use this area and it is pristine. Palm olive trees, with great tracks and shade. Hasher paradise.
The hares today were Emperor Airhead, VV, GI Joe, Sir Arse-A-Holic and (the Beer Bitch) Sir Really Sadistic Bastard. These hares have all surpassed the crowning achievement of 1000 Runs. Only two others have made it to this list. Sir Spaghetti Head, who is in a retirement home in Sattahip, and Lord Chicken Fucker (RIP).
What is noticeable, is that GI Joe, who is the oldest, is the only one of this group who is actively still running. Top Gun.
Between them, they have been on 6166 runs. There has to be a Thai lottery ticket number in there somewhere. Or is there an omen of evil about their run.
What was gratifying to see, was the Beer Hunters were off the Panic Disorder Severity Scale. Gangreen was so eloquent about which baht bus to take. He forgot to take RSB. Out in parts unknown, they did not recognise any familiar bush bar. Even Google Maps could not help. As for the “ice cream aficionados.” Non starters. If you asked for a 99 Flake out here, they would just give you a confused look or maybe think you are talking about Seal Sucker.
So, on time, a welcome returner, The Wizard got proceedings under way. Still looking a bit jaded after looking after thirty go-go girls in the TQ. Definitely not as hard as eighty odd pissed hashers.
So, the hares told us about the run and we were off.
In previous Veteran Runs we have acknowledged the passing of some runners who took a false trail and never made it back to the main pack. This took the form of photos on a board. Now too many. One hundred and forty-eight. Sh*t, half way round I thought it was going to be a hundred and forty-nine.
I am used to the aged and the infirm passing me. But the ultimate shame, is when a miniature French poodle, called Tequila used to pass me. Thankfully he did not run today. He came later. But I used to think fish n’ chips was the power food for hashing. I now have had a rethink. It looks like I will now switch my diet to Pedigree Chum dog food. If this does not enhance my running capabilities, not to worry. At least it will support my general skin and coat health.
The Wizard got proceedings underway for the second circle. Did the usual stuff with Trash and Crash.
Wait a minute. A lot of hash crashes.
Eight to be exact.
Most were walkers plus the two virgins.
Think they all must be French..
Brought in the hares. All good feedback about the hares and the run. A five kilometre walk. An eight kilometre run. Nothing but praise for the hares.
Hash Raffle was conducted by Black Panther. This girl has let me down so much in recent weeks. Even my daughters are now questioning her credibility. When I was not allowed to drink alcohol, I always won. Now, that I am allowed to drink alcohol, I never win. I have even held open the beer cooler lid for this young lady. But to no avail. I just hope that corruption and the voice of Stupid Kraut Kunt who has now returned prevail.
Time for religion with Emperor Airhead.
Old men on the ice. A brilliant description of today’s hares. If I was asked to name the best gentlemen on the PH3, I would probably come up with these guys and Airhead.
Why?
Easy. If you know them, they are all the nicest guys.
Now we moved on to more nice guys and girls.
Stupid Kraut Cunt – Happy Birthday.
Lost Cause - Happy Birthday.
Red Angel – Happy Birthday.
Now I am pissed.
And so are my notes.
I love how Something Stupid sang Do Do Do and Me Me Me.
Think maybe two French lads, who were virgins, may come back next week.
Now, Sauce for the Goose had been sitting next to me. She wanted to know how it was possible to take over the circle. I suggested, Just ask.
She did.
Then she went for the jugular.
The vein in the Wizards neck.
As he has been working as night time manager in the Tahitian Queen, his better half Burley Chasses has had to put up with his awkward hours. But they were in constant communication. The reason being the welfare of the cats. Seemingly, the cats are on a different circadian life cycle and the Wizard wanted to know how they were doing.
Priorities.
Then it was time for “the final down down.”
“Hash Hymn.” Suckanya. She is rising in her grave. These guys sucked.
“One for the road.”
Whereas, five thousand US navy personnel have just left Pattaya and gone back to San Diego, to paint the USS Abraham Lincoln. Twenty two hashers went back to the “Happy Hour” Kubla Bar, to paint the town red.
As usual, another great hash. Do we ever have a bad one.
OnOn, General Kidney Wiper