It was refreshing to travel to an A site out Phoenix Rd way to a site not used for over two years. Well done to the German contingent, Panzer Fister, Two Pricks and Flying Dick Truck Fucker. Fattus Maximus very generously stepped up as a replacement GM for The Wizard who is still doing time at the TQ while Emperor Airhead is away.
The first circle was called and there were two virgins, Rose from Tanzania and Dominic from France. Frogsy Moron drank from his new shoes which looked like hiking boots.
YMCA let out a few frustrated expletives as he was disturbed from his camera duties by Slippery Frog Tongue who wanted to sign up after YMCA had put away the cash and the records. Really Slippery Frog Tongue, get yourself organised and sign up when you arrive instead of standing around yakking.
The hares explained their run and said the walk was about 4.2 km with a split after 3km and the run was about 8km and there could be some False Trails.
Fattus Maximus called everyone to order for the second circle and Seal Sucker was iced as representative of the Kiwi hares last week for leaving a yellow H3 sign behind.
YMCA knew he would be on ice because he fell on trail maybe three times but as he said it didn’t matter how many times he fell as you are still on ice for one fall. Phil the Pill also fell but he claimed YMCA tripped him.
Hares were iced and the circle was asked what they thought of the run. Boring Wanker thought it was too short and GI Joe thought it was an excellent run if you didn’t count the first 500 metres that were difficult to navigate in the long grass. Happy Survivor survived the first part with the aid of She’s the Boss and even ran the last part which was flat and on a path that was so well papered it looked like a well lit highway.
Good job hares!
Raffle time and Black Panther kept everyone in check by threatening to throw noisy hashers in the bucket. Arse van Hole was the first winner and chose the whiskey and then he won again with a fry pan.
FM put all the Thai ladies on the ice and congratulated them as Thailand beat China to win the World Volleyball championship. Seems Thai ladies are more interested in looking at their phones than watching volleyball.
Returners were then put on ice. Bus Stop is visiting from Adelaide, Australia, and Big Stick has been travelling in Canada.
Leavers were called for and we all know Seal Sucker is returning to NZ but he was nowhere to be found, not even lurking in the shadows as he is wont to do.
Boring Wanker stood in as RA for Emperor Airhead and thought he knew Airhead’s routine off by heart so he put Necrophilia Night Rider on the ice first but forgot it is hares on the ice first. Anyway, NNR had nothing of interest to report so was left sitting there till he could remember anything interesting and in Airhead fashion Boring Wanker picked his enemies to put on the ice, namely, Seal Sucker, Phil the Pill and Ball Ringer. Circle had to vote for who was to go in the bucket and it was a tie between Phil the Pill and Seal Sucker. I think the loudest yells came for SS and he cheated by putting his trash hash award of a toilet seat in the bucket for himself to sit on.
Then BW put the hares on the ice and quizzed them on who did what. Think they were all responsible for the first 1km of shitty trail but it took them two reccies and 11 hours of toil so thank you for your hard work.
All Germans were iced then but because there weren’t many, all Dutch were iced as well.
At this stage, Mayo Queen was seen outside the circle in a deep sleep. We don’t know whether it was from over exertion or boredom but I suspect the latter.
Award time and Diaper Sniper was given his 100 runs shirt and General Kidney Wiper was awarded a Scribe Shirt for 10 runs but in fact he has scribed 48 times.
Glass Cow took the circle and put Phil the Pill on the ice for mocking his Scottish accent whereas Phil the Pill’s Geordie accent from Newcastle is much harder to understand. I agree. The dulcet tones of a Scottish accent is much more pleasant to the ears. Flying Dick Trucker Fucker was also on the ice just for being German.
The two virgins were called into the circle and asked how they enjoyed their day. Dominic who was brought along by Two Sexy Legs went with the Beer Hunters and won’t come again whereas Rose from Tanzania enjoyed her day and will return.
Sir Really Sadistic Bastard took the circle and put his surrogate father General Kidney Wiper on the ice as well as Ball Ringer and Eating Monster. He then proceeded to sing each of them a funny ditty.
A big thank you to Eating Monster who made sure I had supplies of the brown nectar while scribing.
Fattus Maximus asked the circle if anyone had any fines or something to say but nobody did, not even Seal Sucker who always has something to say outside the circle with his snide remarks but he is not willing to repeat them in the circle.
The hares went on the ice as they got Shit Lips to sing the hares song for them, How the money rolls in.
So with that it was time to wrap things up early with the habitual Final Down Down and Hash Hymn ably led by Ball Ringer.
On On bar was Crackers where more hashers than were indicated turned up and rewarded with a great spread.
Thanks to everyone who stood in for The Wizard and ably contributed to the circle.
On on Sauce for the Goose