Your PH3 Mismanagement Team
2024
Executive Committee Team
Positions With Voting Rights
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Position
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Name
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Grand Master
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The Wizard
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Hare Raiser
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Sperm Polluter
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Webmaster
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Pussy Snatcher
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Hash Bookie
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Crap Thai
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Brew Master
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V.V.
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Rags Master
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Something Stupid
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Raffle Master
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Leg Over
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Awards
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Shit Lips
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Sign-Ups
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Mount Me
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Hash Cash
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YMCA
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Virgin Stimulator
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Happy Survivor
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RA
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Emperor Airhead
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RA
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Scar with 2 Ts
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Non-Executive Committee Team
Non-Voting Positions
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Position
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Name
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RA
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No More Cum
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Transport Managers
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Lady Squeeze My Tube, G.I. Joe
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On On Bar Coordinator
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Sperm Polluter
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On site records
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Dirt Looney
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Hash Flash
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Spastic Whore King
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Webmaster’s Assistant
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Dirt Looney
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New Appointments
Crap Thai as Hash Bookie with thanks to Pussy Snatcher for his long service in this role.
Leg Over as Raffle Master with thanks to Fleece Lifter for his service.
Scribe Report for Annual General [Milky] Piss Up Run #2031 – Monday, January 29, 2024
Preamble – (with apologies to R.E.M.)
Ohhhh - PH3 is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
To run every run for 6 years (266 consecutive runs)
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up
That's me in the corner
That's me in the spot-light
Entertaining every Circle
Trying to keep you laughing
And I don't know if I can do it (another year)
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
Every whisper, of every waking hour
I'm choosing my charges
Trying to keep an eye on you all
Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool, fool
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up
But that was just a dream
That was just a dream
That's me in the corner
That's me in the spot-light
Entertaining every Circle
Trying to keep you laughing
And I don't know if I can do it (another year)
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
But that was just a dream
Try, cry, fly, try
That was just a dream
Just a dream
Just a dream, dream
[Next year I’ll wake up …maybe!]
Consider what dedicated Wizardry it takes to wake up every Monday for 6 years+ to entertain ~ 100 PH3 hashers who keep coming back for more and more. The outstanding team that sacrifice their time and effort on the Mismanagement Committee to make PH3 such a great club is very much appreciated.
The behind-the-scenes work is immense; Pussy Snatcher and Dirt Looney toiling for untold hours with coding and making the PH3 website of such quality and accessible records.
VV as Brew Master for 9 years – swears that this will be his final year – a volunteer for next year please step forward.
Something Stupid selling over 700 t-shirts last year – fantastic effort and with thanks to Burley Chassis for her great creativity in designing shirts.
Not to leave anyone on the Mismanagement unpraised – you ALL to an outstanding job – well done!
The Run
Hares The Wizard and Sperm Polluter in their usual Rule 6 Brofest describe it as an easy flat run; 4km for the walkers and 8km for the runners
With 8 virgins, and in all 122 Hashers – it was quite a crowd.
Having had a week of excess, I opted for the walk and soon was negotiating Velcro Dick Gully (where last year VD unfortunately lost his footing a headbutted a tree resulting in serious injury which I hope he is well on the way to recovery from). With this memory in mind, I very cautiously headed into the gully, unlike Pussy Snatcher who made a spectacular face plant with no damage done other than to his pride.
The run was indeed fairly flat and the dead dog promised materialised and soon enough the Run/Walk split was found and along with Purple Fart we head On In on the Walk – only clocking 3ish km, we decided we’d put a bit more effort in along the road – just enough that when we got back to A-site the Mancunian Virgin Roger Owen beat Seal Sucker in for the Glory.
The [Fucking] Circle
The GM promised to be on his best behaviour and ensure no fucking way would there be no fucking swearing.
Hairy Crack was sent to bucket for yakking and the aforementioned Mismanagement then brought in and thanked for their efforts.
Hash Trash – astonishingly none (bar Turkish Delight leaving his shirt on the Monkey)
Hash Crash – Pussy Snatcher, Fuck Off, Scar, Happy Virgin, Knob Marley, Tung ‘n Groove
GI Joe called to ice the Hares TW & SP: well received trail with Dead Gump iced for grovelling too much.
Raffle which sold out – Pigshit and Giddy Up iced for bringing their beer in the Circle.
Emperor Airhead - reminded us of Hash Rules
1) The GM is always right [Ed. I think this is Rule 2), Rule 1) is – There are No Rules
6) No sex on the Hash
Dirt Looney suggested to be given more jobs with EA alluding to Benjamin Franklin who once said that "if you want something done, ask a busy person." There's truth to that statement. After all, the busier we are, the better we manage our time. [DL who’s been a wee bit busy of late felt even more unwell at this – speedy recovery mate].
TW/SP in and we are reminded that they are both happily married (to females) despite hashing at high days and holidays – EA is still trying to master this having tried 4x and Dirt Looney is too busy to get married, and having special sleeping privileges implemented at Café Kronborg.
The PH3 sponsored food that VV and Two Time cooked up was as usual excellent and gratefully devoured.
Knob Marley and Professor Pinky commended for coming to Thailand and leaving their partners to freeze in the snow.
EA reminded us what a mess the Raffle has been in the past with complicated rules and TW commended for making the Raffle a success.
Something Stupid commended for his Regs salesmanship.
Scar w/2T’s
TW awarded a special belt for his 266 consecutive run achievement.
Virgins – over quota with Noggies – good efforts from all and welcomed to PH3.
Hairy Crack back in the bucket to demonstrate to the Virgins how to use it.
Hares TW & SP iced and SP sent to the bucket for ‘losing’ Dirt Road paper on trail.
Hairy Crack, Dead Gump, Sausage Head, She’s the Boss in for various charges (I got up to get a beer so missed what for) – Nightrider for being a late sign-up.
The GM – has Scar back in on ice for dropping paper in the Circle.
Awards:
Rocky Balblowme was congratulated for 25 runs and welcomed as a member of the PH3
The Wizard was congratulated for 30 hared runs with the PH3
Sperm Polluter received his shirt for 30 hared runs with the PH3
Chiang Mai Hash Visitors – Prison Bitch, Discharge, Sloppy Rod, Alice, Chuck Wao, Purple Fart, Pigshit – thanked for visiting PH3 [and thank you for the warm/icy welcome we always receive].
Tung ‘n Groove iced for sitting when PH3 allows this privilege only for those over 70 or completed 500 Runs.
Ryan Willoughby was given the hash name of Noodles.
The Hares Song (TW, SP & Milky Piss]
Perhaps the high or low light of the Circle – see the lyrics in the Run Report. How Milky Piss was persuaded to dress up like that is beyond all comprehension – and has ended forever any hopes of political office he may have held.
The song was hilarious and MP performance Oscar worthy – I’m not surprised MP ended up Milky Pissed at the OnOnOn Bar.
The Final Down Down and Hash Hymn was sung by the Committee and we then headed to Hustlers for another superb OnOnOn.
Thanks to The Wizard, the PH3 Mismanagement Team and all on PH3 for another great day and all the best for another great year ahead – see you in March.
OnOn Belly Dancer