There were twenty-four runs set last year that involved partners. As far as I know, everyone is still together, which is quite surprising, considering how stressful setting a run can be.
Today’s dynamic duo are Herring Choker and Shy Tiger. Me, being a walker, am always concerned how the “Walkers” section of the run will turn out. Now, if it is not bad enough that it is being laid by two “Running Hares.” But they are also FRBs. Also, what is considered easy by a “Runner” can be quite daunting for a “Walker.” So, it was with some trepidation I arrived at the A-site. On arrival I asked the lovely Shy Tiger about the run. She being non-committal, pointed to Herring Choker. When I asked Herring Choker, he just obnubilated the facts and told me “You will be alright.”
The Wizard called the circle to order and started the prerequisites. What? No Dirt Looney to tell us about the Care for Kids. Wrong. Fattus Maximus took over and sounded more like Dirt Looney than DL did. So much so, he got a round of applause.
The hares told us about the run and we were off. Nice and gentle. Plenty of talking. Walkers a little bit lost, but a quick recovery. Then proceedings took a turn for the worse. Up and down. Then more up and down. WTF. As I was a good boy last year, Santa gave me a new Garmin watch for Christmas. This has a panic button that I can press if I feel a heart attack coming on. This informs my next of kin about my distress and sends my location details. Twice I tried to use it on the walk, but my hand was shaking so much, I could not activate it. Finally, we hit the split. Runners to the right and more uphill. Walkers to the left and thankfully downhill.
The Walkers were back in an hour after completing four kilometres. The Runners were back about ten minutes later and completed eight kilometres. Mudcracker was back to his old running prowess this week, as he was without his doggie walking companion.
After a decent cooling down period, The Wizard started the second circle. Only one Hash Crash. Impressive considering the terrain. Seemingly, Herring Choker runs here regularly and trips over tree roots quite often. So, he decided to paint spray them red today.
Hares On In.
Was I on the same run? Nothing but praise for the hares. Plus, all these Scandihooligans said there were no hills. Where they come from these would not be considered as such. Tough bastards.
So well done hares.
Moving on and it was Raffle Time with Sexy Butterfly. The most profound disrupter with cries of “Corruption” is Stupid Kraut Kunt. But this week not a peep. Yes, he won. Me, nothing. In fact, the numbers I had seemed more akin to last week’s raffle numbers. Oh well, next week.
Time for some religion with Emperor Airhead. Bang Saray is a fairly quiet fishing village down the road. SKK has now moved there. Since then, the neighbourhood has gone to shit as he had a party there and invited Scar w/2Ts, Salad Dodger, Eating Monster, TV, and The Wizard. Seems the inebriations got a bit carried away. TV is now an internet sensation with multiple hits on YouTube and Facebook, singing and dancing to the tune of YMCA by the Village People. (You still got the moves young fella). It is rumoured he may surpass Justin Bieber for most viewed hits.
As for Eating Monster. Ate more than anybody else, then had the audacity to ask for a doggie bag at the buffet. (Did her dog Monet get any?)
Time to give the Frenchman Christian a hash name. VV was brought into translate. Something Stupid was brought into translate for VV. Fingering Frog was the “Nom de Hash.”
Scar w/2Ts circle time. Salad Dodger and TV’s New Years resolution was not to get drunk on a Sunday, before the hash. Lasted one week. TV was even the last to leave the TQ the previous night at 3.00am.
Window Wanker was iced for being single and looking for affection.
SKK and Sister Fister Fuckwit were iced for getting lost with the beer hunters.
The Wizard took the circle again. Salad Dodger finally got presented with a T-shirt that fitted him.
Mai Mao received her 50 runs T-shirt. Well done young lady.
Dirt Looney was iced, but it was decided to hold his award for Hasher of the Year for another week. Well, if you had been there, you would know why………….
Time for more awards from The Wizard.
The hasher most likely to pass away in his condo undiscovered and start to decompose and smell - Necrophilia Night Rider.
The hasher most likely to have a warrant out for sex crimes in their own country - Sperm Polluter.
The hasher most likely to have unclaimed children in Thailand – Something Stupid.
The hasher most likely to move upcountry to live – Ball Ringer.
The hasher most likely to be found outside a 7/11 with a Chang in his hand – Dirt Looney.
The hasher most likely found to go to every bar in Soi 6 – Scar w/2Ts.
The hasher most likely to be found in every bar in Soi 6/1 – Scar w/2Ts.
And The Mug of the Year goes to Dirt Looney.
Wow! Amazing! How can you be “Top Gun” with Hasher of the Year to Mug of the Year? She is a fickle mistress the Pattaya Hash.
Time for the Hare’s Song. Seal Sucker denied agreeing to sing it, so it was up to Herring Choker to sing solo, while Shy Tiger melted the ice. All I can say is, please Seal Sucker, do us a favour next time and live up to your promise. At least you tried Herring Choker and the words were great.
But, well done hares.
Final Countdown. Hash Hymn. One for the road.
Another great hash.
Just need to bring a warmer jacket next week.
OnOn, General Kidney Wiper