Run #2146 – The Songkran Run
Another great A-site. Secluded, serene, spacious parking and easy to drive to using the hash signs. Even though it was Songkran there was no build-up of any excessive traffic. A nice touch was the girls poured perfumed water on our hands and dabbed our faces with it. I had arrived early, so was able to see Lady Squeeze My Tube dumping a couple of cartons of Lao beer into the bucket and declaring they were free.
I had been shooting the shit with Sir Really Sadistic Bastard whose eyes nearly popped out his head at the mention of free beer. But this “mouse among men” was extremely hesitant to extract a beer from the bucket. Not knowing if he was infringing on any “Hash Rules” by doing so. In order to put him out of his misery, stop his shaking hands and quivering lips, Scar w/2Ts grabbed a can, opened it and shoved it into his appreciative hand. Shortly after this Sexy Mountain arrived. She also opened a can and thrust it into RSB’s hand. After this it was open season, with Beer Hunters appearing from everywhere.
Then The Wizard called the circle to order. New shoes and club etiquette explained.
Finally hares on in. Lady Squeeze My Tube, Many Drinks, Never Come, Sexy Mountain, Sexy Butterfly and Black Panther who told us about the run. Then we were off.
Walkers and runners together.
Last year’s Songkran run was unforgettable. Big thunder. Big lightning. Big rain. Nothing like that this year. Just big heat – 34°C. But not to worry, as the hares had laid most of the run in the shade.
I did the walk which was 4.5kms. and arrived back after an hour. The runners did double this distance and took about fifteen minutes longer.
Mud Cracker was first back as he did not take any Tequila this week to slow him down. Tequila is his poodle.
Last week, Sexy Mountain won a large water gun in the raffle. This was put to good use this week. Just before the A-site a couple of the Hares were ready to squirt us with water and dab our faces with “Din Sor Pong.” This symbolises blessings, good luck and protection against evil spirits. Hopefully it works this time
The hares had prepared an excellent table of food. Chicken, mashed potato and veg. This was then followed up by bananas and cookies. Top fare.
After a decent cooling down period the GM called the circle to order.
Hash crashes were Sir Arse-A-Holic, Louisiana Lip Licker and Bell End. How? The usual reasons. Mother nature is just out to get you. No one seriously hurt. Just pride.
Hash Trash next. One lost chair belonging to BB. He had lost it twice since last week and had spent more kilometres chasing it down than he usually does each week on the hash walk. Disco Dick claimed the gay glasses as no one else admitted to losing them. And finally, Squeeze was returned to her lost stapler.
The GM then brought in the hares. Not enough ice for the six beautiful buttocks, but I have to admit I was impressed by Never Come, who did a full reverse entry into the ice bucket. She was displaced by Mamasan’s Big Boy, who created a tsunami. The likes of what we have never seen since Free Willy days.
The GM asked around the circle for their opinion of the run. All good. Nothing but praise. Well done.
Next was Black Panther with the raffle. So near, yet so far. At least Whore in the Window won with his new “lucky haircut.’
Emperor Airhead then took over the circle. Praised the hares. But when he asked them if they were not concerned that as this was an old temple site with consecrated ground, the hares were silent for the first time.
Next, he brought in Mamasan’s Big Boy and his Dad, Supervirgin. EA explained that when he visited Norway way back, MBB was just a little sprog. But Dad has brought him up well. In recognition, he was presented with The Best Dad Certificate. I remember when I was a little sprog. I bought my Mum a plastic trophy which had a removeable plastic plate that said “Best Mum in the World.” I used to remove it when I fell out with her for being told off. Hopefully, MBB does not tear up Dad’s certificate.
Kevin got named Wasted White Sperm. But Horst the lawyer has to wait another week.
The GM then took over the circle and gave out awards.
VV – 250 Hared Runs patch.
Many Drinks – 100th Run t-shirt.
Mayo Queen – 400th Run t-shirt. Well done all.
Scar w/2Ts then took the circle and dealt with several miscreants. Some not wearing hash t-shirts. A few who were lucky enough to have their flights delayed because of the present oil crisis.
The GM then took over the circle. None of the hares had ever seen a snowman. So, to rectify this he split the girls into two teams. They were given rolls of toilet paper and told to transform MBB and Supervirgin into snowmen using the toilet paper to wrap around them, in three minutes. I have seen many snowmen in Scotland, but I have never seen anything like these girls created. They looked like a cross between a Mummy and the abominable snowman. All three girls of the losing team managed to fit inside the bucket of ice. Amazing what a diet of rice can achieve.
Prison Dick Taker then welcomed and he and the GM reminisced about their old jobs in the prison service. Seems the prison are full up, except if you express your opinion on Facebook and then they find room to lock you up. Maybe they should introduce the ice bucket as a deterrent.
It was time for the Hares song. Unfortunately, they had none. Their only failing of the night. BB did the honours, with a great rendition of the Paddywack song.
Final Down Down. All Germans in, plus all people wearing gay Songkran shirts.
Hash Hymn then One for the road.
Off to Happy Hour bar for most. Thank you, New Plaza Sports Bar.
Hares, you are a class act to follow. Well done.
Oh, and there is a happy ending. Gangreen, who won a bottle of whisky in the raffle, gave it to Sir RSB, for him to donate it to his favourite charity.
Another great hash. Do we ever have a bad one.
OnOn, General Kidney Wiper.