Total Hashers This Week - 86

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Correcting Run Records Policy

To encourage hashers, and hash virgins, to take responsibility for ensuring they have received proper run credit, the deadline for reporting missed runs will be Thursday evening following a run. As run stats are posted to the website by noon of the Tuesday following the run, hashers will have 2 1/2 days to review the run stats to confirm they've received credit for the run just held.

The reason for the Thursday deadline is we close out the run accounts and run records for a run on Friday mornings. Corrections entered before Friday help ensure we have an accurate accounting of the run.

It is hoped with this policy in place the number of hashers that pay the signup fee and walk away before having their name marked off on the signup list will be reduced. This will also eliminate the cases where a hasher comes to us weeks, months, or even years later asking to correct a missed run in the records.

The one exception to this policy will be those with duplicate run records can approach us when they're close to achieving a run award. At that time we will merge the records so the run award reflects all their runs with the PH3.

Missed runs can be reported via email to the Webmaster.

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History History

Awards This Run

Chuck The Fuck Up
100 Runs

NOTE: Scribe Reports are written for your entertainment and are a work of fiction.
Any resemblance to actual people and events is purely coincidental.

Scribe Report by Fattus Maximus

We arrived at a new, rather barren A-site, after a 45 minute drive. Google said it would take 30 minutes if we had gone the opposite way. Hey ho! 
Our Hares for today were Glass Cow/ Swing Low Sweet Testicles, who did the trail and Golden Rivet/ Lost Cause, who fed us all. Thank you hares! Special thanks to Swing Low as he is flying back to Blighty today (Tuesday now) but wanted to squeeze one more hare in. Glass Cow hared his first run with me back in December and now has 2 hares as well as 3 with the Jungle. Good to have some enthusiastic new hares out there!!
A good crowd of 86 gathered for the first circle bang on 4 o' clock. No virgins but Don't Call Me Dick and Lee Diesel christened their new shoes with cold Changs. There were the usual announcements, MMM is on Wednesday at 4pm location to be announced. Dirt Looney is getting quicker each week with his Take Care Kids spiel. The stand-in hare-raiser went on a bit explaining the 3 month trial of 4 free hares per run has now been approved going forwards, regardless of whether the hares provide food or not. However, those that do provide food for all can claim 1000 baht towards their expenses. Hopefully, this will encourage more of you to have a go at haring...
Had a really good day yesterday filling up August and September. Looking forwards to October and November we have many birthday runs and special runs. SKC usually takes Oktoberfest but Halloween and Loy Krathong can be booked now. Just come and see me please. 🥳🎉
Back to business... the hares came in and told us about the trail. 4.6km walk or about 8 for the run and off we went. Lots of sun and lots of pineapples! I dropped to the rear with the shopping girls and after about half way they short-cutted back home. I carried on alone (foolishly) and lost paper. 💩 I tried to follow my GPS back to the start but got surprised by an impassable quarry and then dense shiggy. Eventually, I found the out trail and that led me to the road and back to the A-site... nearly 8km in 2 hours 🤣 a huge sigh of relief!!
18:42 a slightly late start for the second circle which began with Hash crashers. GI Joe got stumped and YMCA slipped on his fat arse so no harm done 🤣 Fat Max sang them off the ice with "They're dumb!"
Dirt Looney then took a seat for his PH3 pen which the hares found at last week's A-site when they returned to clear the paper. (Top job hares!!)
Next up the hares... luckily I wasn't asked my thoughts this time! GKW enjoyed his 4.5km so much he ran the last part, Arakie thought the first and last kms were both great but didn't expand on the middle 6. Mudcracker gave it 10 out of 10 (must have been sh*t then!) Gangreen got lost beerhunting as the other beerhunters didn't call On-On. GI Joe said it was an excellent trail. Fleece Lifter said it was all up and down... a bit like Black Panther. So well done hares you are getting good at this! GM then called in Hand Solo who also got a bit lost and sent the GM a picture of the scaffold we had to climb over two weeks ago... GM told him he was on the wrong paper so he ended up doing two runs plus a bit extra he made up 🤣
Raffle!!! Black Panther called the numbers and iced most of the winners for bringing various unnecessary crap into the circle. Kilt Lifter got first prize and chose the wine then the Arakie family cleaned up, Mia Noi got the gin and Prickly Bird got a hand held fan. Freddie Krueger won the chair. Cannonball won a lifetime voucher for Dominoes and Fleece was left with the biscuits. Thank you for supporting the raffle everyone!
Emperor Airhead ices the hares and bollocks the circle for the poor level of today's singing. It's not optional he says, it's obligatory! He asks why a Scot, an English man, an American and a Thai lady have come together as a team. They all go to the Fun Gym to work out and letch at the lycra clad lovelies. Lost Cause was thanked for the work she does with farmers and land owners securing A-sites and using their land for runs. Well done LC!
Next up what has Necrophilia Night Rider lost this week? Last week half his bicycle went missing and I think 3 of his lost wallets are somewhere on Soi 6. After last week's run he realised he'd lost his car keys at 7pm only to find them at 11pm... in his car 🤣 Stay off the wacky backy NNR!
Now it was time to consider a name for newbie Ed. We found out a little bit about him... a former chemical engineer who has been married to his Thai wife for 15 years but he also frequents the Fun Gym to look at the eye candy. Should be fun next week! 
Lastly Airhead iced some globetrtting hashers. Na Hee Man, Auto Felatio and Mr. Happy. AF is off to Rangoon and NHM was able to give him the heads up about it as he has been hashing there for 25 years. 
The Wizard came in briefly to ice 2 young and fit men he caught sitting in the circle. Hand Solo and Lee Diesel sat on the ice whilst the awards were handed out. Sir MC 40 hares shirt 😮, Don't Call Me Dick 100 runs shirt and Chuck The F*** Up was acknowledged for his 100th run with the PH3. Well done guys!
Sheikh Me Me then roared into the circle icing all and sundry for no apparent reason and did a stand up routine at 90 mph. I couldn't keep up so just watched and enjoyed it.
Back to TW and the hares song. Barnacle Bollox joined the hares to keep some sort of a rhythm going... 🎵Singing balls to your father tum tee tum tee tum... if you've never been ****** on a Saturday night then you've never been ****** at all!🎵 GM cut them off early as we were already running 10 minutes late. 
There then followed a world record final down down and hash hymn as we tried to claw those 10 minutes back. One for the road (if you were lucky) and the usual silly route back to town where Quicky Bar took care of about 20 plus tired hashers. Thanks Sexy Butterfly!!

On On Fattus Maximus