Total Hashers This Week - 81

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History

Correcting Run Records Policy

To encourage hashers, and hash virgins, to take responsibility for ensuring they have received proper run credit, the deadline for reporting missed runs will be Thursday evening following a run. As run stats are posted to the website by noon of the Tuesday following the run, hashers will have 2 1/2 days to review the run stats to confirm they've received credit for the run just held.

The reason for the Thursday deadline is we close out the run accounts and run records for a run on Friday mornings. Corrections entered before Friday help ensure we have an accurate accounting of the run.

It is hoped with this policy in place the number of hashers that pay the signup fee and walk away before having their name marked off on the signup list will be reduced. This will also eliminate the cases where a hasher comes to us weeks, months, or even years later asking to correct a missed run in the records.

The one exception to this policy will be those with duplicate run records can approach us when they're close to achieving a run award. At that time we will merge the records so the run award reflects all their runs with the PH3.

Missed runs can be reported via email to the Webmaster.

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History History

Awards This Run

Arse Bandit
10 Hared Runs

Diaper Sniper
50 Runs

NOTE: Scribe Reports are written for your entertainment and are a work of fiction.
Any resemblance to actual people and events is purely coincidental.

Scribe Report by Fattus Maximus

The Fat Max Shit Show!

The early stages are a bit hazy as I had no idea I might end up scribing so I will just make some shit up.
It had a bit of a jungle feel about it with former PJH3 GM Fleece Lifter standing in for The Wizard and Drinks Like A Girl and Fat Max taking the RA's roles.
FL called the first circle on time and with no virgins and no new shoes he picked on Fat Max who was wearing sneakers... although they were about a year old they hadn't ever seen trail. I pleaded that as a hare why would I wear trail shoes today. I still got a free beer 🍻😀. Then the usual announcements... a happy Hare Raiser (Fat Max with his Beetroot Head on) said he'd already filled 2 slots today and the next available slot is 5th October. Halloween and Loy Krathong are also currently available. 
Next the hares came in and Spermy sent everyone on their Merry way. Less than 4 for walkers and maybe less than 8 for the runners.
Arsebandit had bought beers for all the hares so we got an early start. (Sore head today!) The first walkers were back in 45 minutes and the front runners on the hour. Mudcracker led in Seal Sucker and Jingle Balls. 2 years ago JB was 30 kg heavier and couldn't run a bath. Well done!!
18:15 GM calls the second circle. Unable to find a scribe yet he asked again and then gave me the pen... better than being the beer bitch I guess. 
Hash crashes? Only a pissed up Knickerless who fell off her chair at the Beerhunters. She was joined by Madam Sin who was sitting in the circle. She really doesn't look 70!
Hash Trash. Arsebandit had given a biscuit from the snacks to a dog who turned his nose up at it. The GM retrieved it and returned it to AB on the ice. 
Hares on the ice. Nothing but praise from the circle. Probably one of the best trails ever!! 🤣 GM gave all the credit to Spermy which I guess was fair enough.
Rrrrrraffle. Hot Hope called out the winners. Little Sparrow followed by Sexy Butterfly, Something Kinder, Bell End, Testicles, Sir MC and YMCA. 
Emperor Maximus's circle. Hares have a seat! He praised the hares on the great A-site and the trail which everyone seemed to have enjoyed. He then got the Kiwis on the ice. Seal Sucker was looking for a co-hare and Fleece had stood up so soon after haring last week for Dragon's birthday run. Good man! A story was told about how the 2 first met... SS had broken down and had steam pouring out of his head gasket. FL arrived and said it looked like he'd blown a seal. SS replied at least I don't f*ck sheep. And that is how the 2 of them got named.
Next up the Germans. 2 Pricks has been with us a while now. He's already scribed in a foreign language and hared his first run. Shortly he will get his second with Panzer Fister and Flying Dick Truck Fucker. Panzer Fister got praised for covering sign-ups, hash flash and regularly haring often straight after a Monkey. Germans have no sense of humour 55555 was their down down. 
Scots on the rocks! So with strong German and All Blacks teams we have this bunch of pissheads. In 2010 they launched the Scotch On The Rocks Run and it ran up until COVID. Glass Cow is resurrecting it on St Andrew's Day along with Andy Whorehole and Kilt Lifter plus Fat Max who has his birthday that week. Whisky galore was promised. Sir Really Sadistic Bastard gave them all a down down song. Unintelligible to me 555.
Drinks Like A Girl's turn. Returners No C*ntrol, Knickerless, My Girlfriend Knows I'm Gay, Arseholeo and Testicles were asked where they have been. All over the place but Bangkok, Vietnam and back to work were amongst the replies. 
GM then iced Spermy and I and asked what I had done to help. I said that I had got the team together, done the first recce and bought all the snacks... not enough apparently 555. Then I stayed on the ice as anyone else who is held together by titanium, nuts and bolts joined me. Renata who is recovering from a hash crash has plates in her wrist and Little Sparrow has just had both knees replaced.
GM then iced DLAG who's Dirt Road hat flew off his head and out of the Baht bus. We will leave it to the Dirt to sort that one out.
Awards and Recognitions. Chuck The F*ck Up got his shirt for 100 runs, Overdue was congratulated on his 50th and Arsebandit for his 10th hare. Well done!
Leavers. No C*ntroll having just been iced as a returner is back to Vietnam and Louisianna Lip Licker is off home I think. He got the temporary name Long Legged Lady.
Ozzies on the ice. Arseholeo and Testicles (is he) can't remember much from here on. So I guess it was time for the hares song. All hares joined in to sing a song from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang adapted by Spermy. 🎵You're my little c*nty face🎵. Final down down and the hash hymn and one for the road. Maybe 25 ended up at Kubla for the On On. Thanks to them. That was the end of a busy day!!

On On Fat Max

Hares' Song

CunႵy, CunႵy, face
(originally from Chitty Chitty Bang)
CunႵified by Sperm Polluter and sung by our pitch-challenged Hares

You're my little cunႵy face
My cunႵy, cunႵy, wunႵy little cunႵy face
Every time I look at you, I sigh.

And you're my little teddy bear
My lovey, lovey-dovey little teddy bear
You're the apple strudel of mine eye.

Your cunႵy wunႵy nose
Your cunႵy wunႵy eyes
They set my heart a flutter.

Your unty cunႵy ways
Your unty cunႵy gaze
Wilts me down like melting butter.

You're my little cunႵy face
And you're my teddy bear
Together we're a cunႵy wunႵy, unty cunႵy pair.

Whatever you may ask
Becomes my happy task
I only live to serve you.

We never will divide
What magic made you mine
I only know I don't deserve you.

You're my little cunႵy face
And you're my teddy bear.
Together we're a cunႵy wunႵy, unႵy cunႵy
CunႵy wunႵy, unႵy, cunႵy
CunႵy wunႵy, unႵy, cunႵy pair.