What a great A-site. Secluded, serene, spacious parking and easy to drive to using the hash signs. Err, well not quite. Seemingly one baht bus was using an outdated version of Google Maps. (Maybe the driver’s wife). Not to worry. We started without them.
The Wizard called the circle to order. Virgins, new shoes and club etiquette explained. Now we had a moment’s silence. Nothing to do with someone’s passing. This was because the GM asked for a volunteer Hash Scribe. This always happens. To be honest, this is the first time in quite a few weeks that he has had to ask. No problem, I fancy one of those “scribe T-shirts” that are now carrot danglers. After this Gangreen came into the circle and explained that we had not lived until we went with the Beer Hunters. Seems he was persuasive. His golden tongue took a following to bush bar nirvana. It helps if you have had a few puffs of High-Grade Number 4 beforehand.
Finally, the hares, Knob Marley, Big Lungs and Lady Squeeze My Tube came in and told us about the run. Then we were off.
Walkers and runners together. One difference is the runners have no time to socialize on the run. They are too busy looking for paper and gasping for air. Whereas walkers, talk and do not bother with paper. I was shooting the shit with BB, Slug and Arse-Holio. What were we "old farts” talking about? Not about where the sexy Gogo girls were working or the price of beer. We were talking about the homeless in Thailand and Australia. Once that conversation was exhausted, KAM then got involved in a conversation about diving for golf balls in lakes adjacent to golf courses in Australia. As this was literally out of my depth, I moved on.
Runners and walkers then split after about 3km. I got back to the A-site in about fifty minutes and just under 4kms. About another twenty minutes and Herring Choker and Anal Acrobat arrived after running just under ten kilometers.
No Beer Hunters back yet. As this was new territory, they had to search a bit further afield for their liquid gold.
After a decent cooling down period the GM called the circle to order.
Hash crashes were Two Pricks, Hippo, Oily Bob and Hamburger Whorehouse. How? It was flat as f*ck. Maybe we need some Zimmer frames and walking sticks as raffle prizes in future.
The GM then brought in the hares. He asked around the circle for their opinion of the run. All good. Nothing but praise. Well done.
Raffle time with that pretty feline predator Black Panther. Many happy winners, but not me. To be honest, the probability of me winning has to be low, as I have won quite a few times recently. You definitely will not hear any cries of “Corruption” from me.
Emperor Airhead then took over the circle. Gasman on the ice. Has worked all over Australia and done it all. Now he drives a truck full of explosives. No wonder he has to come here to relax.
General Kidney Wiper brought in as a past GM. Highs and lows with following GMs. Then a high again with Scar w/2Ts. The Wizard, as current GM brought in and sat on the ice. He thought he had escaped the gravitational pull of that Black Hole known as the GM’s position, only to be sucked back in when Milky Piss had to step down. In appreciation of his hard work and present commitment, EA presented The Wizard with a gift. Not to be opened until he got home to his wife Burley Chassis. What can it be? Maybe ten free Kamikaze shooters from the TQ. I guess we will never know.
Scar w/2Ts then took the circle and dealt with several miscreants. Sitting and talking violators. Iced accordingly. Also, on a boat trip to Koh Larn last week, which was about having a guys’ day out, turned into a day trip with wives and girlfriends. The only one that stuck to the rule was Dingo. Seemingly, he has no girlfriend anyway.
Paris von Dribble mouthed off when passing Scar on the run. Had five beers before it. Turns out they were Heineken Zero, with 0% alcohol.
The GM then took over the circle. There was a beach social last week and the only criteria was to wear a hash shirt. Milky Way and Train Stopper had valid excuses. Their suitcases got lost in transit. YMCA owned up and admitted he had no excuse and pled “guilty as charged.” Whereas, Captain Corruption aka Ferry Queen had no idea. “Temporary insanity.” So, some ice time for these miserable miscreants.
Time for Wanker of the Week.
Contenders: - Fattus Maximus; Dingo; Lady Squeeze My Tube; Ferry Queen.
The GM said we had to vote for one only. Ferry Queen, overwhelmingly, got every vote.
Time for the hare’s song. And for a change, they actually did one. “In the morning by the sea.” Very clever with interchanges. A big cheer at the end. Well done hares.
Final Countdown.
Hash Hymn.
One for the road.
Off to Happy Hour bar for most. Thank you, New Plaza Sports Bar.
Another great hash. Do we ever have a bad one.
Thanks all involved.
Thought I had finished my scribe report. But no. Went downstairs at 5.15am to go for my morning walk, and who do I see? Dancing Dildo. Lost his room key. He was trying to call his “Tee Lak” to hunt down his key, but no answer. I did think about offering him my room key, but the vision of him dancing around with a dildo stuck on his head quickly dispelled that thought. Fortunately, when I returned a couple of hours later, the booze fumes and DD had gone.
OnOn,
General Kidney Wiper.
P.S. If anybody sees The Wizard and Buley Chassis in the TQ this week, can you let me know.