The Great Straw Sucker
PH3 scribe report
Run #2144
Thank you to BB for keeping the scribe chair warm for me.
Shaking with nervous anticipation my new scribe pen in hand awaiting the evenings frolics to unfold on the order of the GM.
The GMs dulcet tone sounding across the circle “circle up” and we’re off.
GM calls “hash trash” with no hesitation Mayo Queen rushes to the ice pants down ready for the cool awakening. But what’s this? He is mistaken. He thought the GM called crash, to which he did not and to the delight if the hash circle, Mayo Queen was ordered unto the bucket.
The GM suddenly in his hands produces a dead rat but no it was infact a wig too which everyone new who the guilty culprit of this trash offense was…. Disco Dick is placed on the ice and is reunited with the wig. Also guilty of the trash offences Chip Chip and Slippery Frog Tongue are reunited with their lost items a chair and a towel.
Trash awards are handed out to the guilty by Arse Van Hole and a down down is given to all.
GM calls hash crash and once more Mayo Queen and Louisiana Lip Licker both fell on trail and awarded hash crash Mayo Queen looking very happy with the toilet seat award. A down down note is sung.
GM calls hares on the ice. Only two hares as the 3rd was unable to make it, so not so much a co-Thai / German hare team only German.
Horst Lenting and Panzer Fister. It was noted that Panzer Fister had laid the paper trail a day after a most gruelling Monkey run on Saturday. Well done to the hares good paper on trail although Whoredini got lost after 20 minutes. A well received trail and mostly in the shade which was greatly appreciated. A down down note was given.
GM calls raffle and there is great excitement amongst the circle goers their yellow raffle tickets in hand and the great Black Panther is the raffle master once more.
The winners are lined up with there raffle prizes held firmly and proudly in their hands. The first a very tanned lady name I don’t know but she looked very happy to win a prize. Milky Way, Lady Squeeze My Tube, A Dingo Ate My Baby’s Lady Guitar, Boring Wanker ( corruption) a virgin. A down down is sung.
Emperor Airhead takes the circle and the hares are called to the ice. EA States that the run was well received and without hares there’s no run. Well done hares another down down note is given.
EA calls TV and Red Lion on the ice and Red Lion presented with a birthday cake from Eating Monster. A birthday note is sung.
EA calls all the Scandihooligans that were on the Saturday bar crawl (I mean run.) To which a large group of blokes take to the ice and there’s not enough room for this big bunch of hooligans to sit on some stand some sit in the bucket. It was then judged by 3 veteran hashers if the Scandihooligan is infact an official hash. It was then acknowledged it was. A down down note is given.
Visiting Australians then asked to sit on the ice KAM, Gasman, Sheik MeMe. EA then states these are part of what’s left of the original Aussie hashers. A down down note is sung.
EA then invites Horst one of todays hares on the ice some information about him is drawn out of him for a possible hash naming very soon. A note is sung.
GM then names the awards and Drag Queen has 100 runs, Mayo Queen 400 runs a note is sung for the awards receivers.
GM calls on the ice Panzer Fister, Brotherly Love, a bald man I don’t know his hash name, Bring Out the Gimp and Sheik MeMe all given a hearty down down song.
Scar W2Ts is given the circle and immediately chooses Mamasans Big Boy on to the ice for talking in the circle, MMBB takes a while to enter the circle and is told don’t be shy. MMBB is then questioned by SW2Ts about how many runs Mayo Queen has just been awarded, he replies 100 too which he is put in the bucket as he wasn’t listening to MQ 400 award run. A note is given.
SW2Ts then calls the virgins to he circle of which there were 5 they are all questioned and they all said they had a great time and would come back particularly 1 of them who seemed a tad intoxicated. A note is sung for the virgins.
Then follows hashers bucketed for several reasons Miserable Cunt, Fairy Queen, Faggot in the Woods and Paprika Smiley for smoking cigars in the circle. A down down note is sung.
GM takes the circle and agreed that Mud Crackers dog should get a Hash shirt. Ging Gang Gooleys is iced for calling out to the GM a note is sung for GGG.
GM calls Supervirgin and Milky Way into the circle for a drinking game to find out who is the hash drinking champion. They are given a large down down beer with 1 straw each and then are told to drink the beer as fast as possible SV downs his in 9 seconds.
A 2nd beer is given to both with 2 straws each again SV downs in 7 seconds. A 3 rd beer with 3 straws each again and SV downs in 6 seconds. A 4th beer is given Milky Way with 3 straws and SV with 20 straws this is too much for SV and concedes the game to Milky Way.
A down down is given.
GM hand the circle to Sheik Me Me and he calls Big Lungs, Gasman, Red Lion, BB on the ice, SMM is looking toward the Environmental impact award. A prize t shirt is then paraded to everyone. Dingo Ate My Baby and Anal cheese are also asked on the ice SMM then awards the shirts to Anal Cheese and Red Lion. A note is sung.
GM calls Whore in the Window, Dancing Dildo and Fairy Queen for wanker of the week, FQ hands over the wooden spoon and the wooden spoon is then awarded to someone! oops! I didn’t write it down and I can’t remember who won it. Any ways someone did win it. The drunk virgin walks into to circle and wants to be bucketed too which she is obliged. A note is sung.
(I just remembered who won the wanker of the week and it was given to the Virgin).
GM calls for the hares song. Horst then gives a rendition of a German / African song Tiki Tiki Tomba.
GM calls for the final down down, eskis closed and followed by the hash hymn.
There closes another great day / evening of PH3 fun and frolics and
on on to the on on bar as usual.
Scribe Milky Piss
OnOn